RCR and Cinders - I have been thinking a lot about the ML lately. Funny you should mention that. I will admit I am very weak in that area. He's very handsome and very well, um, good. We were very physical up until the day he moved out at 4 or 5 times a week most weeks easily. At first I was thinking in relationship terms and now I just see that he's cake eating big time. I know it needs to end, but I'm not sure exactly what to say to him when faced with that the next time. Any suggestions? I've already made the mistake of telling him that I have no expectations of him right now and that I know he doesn't want to come back to me. I've told him that I'm not going to be hurt by it, but in the same breath he knows that I don't want a divorce and would like for us to work on us. I've told him that I realize he's not ready for that and I will wait until he is. He has even said that he doesn't want to lead me on by ML with me. He's also said he doesn't want to lead himself on either(???!?!?!) as he still has a lot of strong feelings and emotions for me and it's very hard to erase 15 years. What in the world is that supposed to mean?? I know, it means nothing and is fog talk, but geez. Do they ever make sense?
He's sent me e-mails asking me if I'd do it all again. I responded in a heartbeat and he responded "me too". He comes to my house and pours out his troubles of being depressed etc etc, holds me, lays his head in my lap, kisses me, but he rarely says he loves me (once in the last month). I've done really good at GAL. He says it's hard for him to see me move on and he's afraid that when (his words) he does want to come back that I won't want him. Then two days later he's talking about splitting property up and what's going to happen with the house if I were to remarry and how he's not going to support some scumbag and he expects me to buy him out at that point! It's all so confusing.
Thanks again guys!
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
