Cissy, You take care too honey. Funny right after I posted, I saw that you had posted. Sorry I haven't posted sooner but my internet service wasnt working and then My h would come home while I was posting. Please take care of you and know that you ARE IN MY THOUGHTS and prayers. Love, Ali
You sound fantastic, and I'm glad your H is reponding to you. It's awesome, nice work!
I don't know that I would be as patient as you if my W were staying out till 3:00 am. That's really pushing the threshold of decency. Maybe you ought to let him know that what's good for the goose is good for the gander. If it's OK for him to stay out that late, then you should have the SAME opportunity.
Otherwise, you just sound terrific. I'm very happy for you!
God Bless,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
You do sound great! wow, doesn't sound like baby steps, sounds like giant steps. Good for you. It sounds like both of you are really making those sparks fly! I am glad for you.
Thanks for keeping me in your prayers. I think about you guys too, on this board throughout my days and I am glad to have such great support and you make me smile. Keep us up to date on how you are doing.
You guys make me smile sooooo much. Thanks Cog and Cissy... Actually my H has beem gone since Monday he went to work in Indianapolis. And I wanted to get busy before he left but it is amazing how since I have been more FORWARD he has not. And I do miss posting but right now we do not have internet...hopefully soon we will get it back~ I came over to my brothers house and my kids are playing with my Nephew. I am thankfully posting. I must say things are going well,,, it is as of the time he was away he grew up alot. CALMED DOWN AND REALIZED HOW MUCH I MEAN TO HIM. I am actually having to do a lot of adjusting. Examples... He calls me frequently like pre bomb days.. He cooked Dinner for me before he left and he had to drive 6 hours @ 9 pm that nite. ( he has never done this<i always had to make an elaborate meal for him) He is being not so controlling of my time and me. 180 for him. He called yesterday and when I answered he asked " WHO'S YOUR DADDY?" ( HE USED TO SILLY LIKE THAT DAILY PRE BOMB) It made me smile. We were watching Movies ( while he was here ) and if you would have looked at us it was like we were one person he was holdimg my hand and he had his head resting in mine, and his legs on my lap. ( human pretzel) .....and so much more that I often wonder what happened to the chip he seemed to have on his shoulder, and who is this more vulnerable, softer, more humble,more loving Man?
When he left ... I was laying on our bed because I was getting a little anxious and just watching him look at directions on the internet for his traveling later. Just looking at him calmed me down and then he did something that melted my heart... he came over by me and he lay his head on my chest and just lay there for awhile.. I wanted to cry. ( but did not)
The last time he went out and he arrived at an un- God Like hour I had a small talk with him about it. So the next time he went out with the "guys" he called me on his way home and when I asked why he was calling he said " cause I missed you! " And this time he was home by 1:30 am.. much better~ I am doing really well you all and I do so feel special when I check the forum today to see how others are doing and you all have left ME messages~ thank you sooo much you guys are such a blessing in my life. Really God bless you all.
I have to say I am again reading Passionate Marriage and I am learning more. I have realized that the more I love me and the more " independent" I become the better my R becomes.... And funny since I have unleashed my inner " vixen" my H has been turning me down a lot and it is ok cause when we ML then it has been real Passionate,,, I explained this to him that " see how hot it becomes when you let it ( sex) happen and ( sex ) come to you and really feel it ( sex) ?" " It becomes so much more than sex it feels so good~" He agreed.
I feel very serene lately and have been quietly lately crying tears of Joy and enjoying all my hard work,,, but make no mistake I do feel like I am done. I must continue to work hard and grow as a Woman.... What I like is now I am not scared to enjoy this. I am not afraid the other shoe is going to fall or he is F*ing with my heart right now,, it feels genuine. It seems like before we were always in love but I just couldn't get it right ( and neither could he BTW) and now it seems like we are working together towards the same Goal and it feel so beautiful. I have not felt this good in Forever really. And I see now that I have been standing in my own way most of the time for many , many years. I was feeling not good enough ABOUT ME to allow myself to be Happy and love myself and respect myself. And enjoy what was right before me, right in front of me!~ Thank God I opened my eyes... Life is good and I can only control me and I needed to allow myself to love and live. I was working so hard for everyone and for tommorrow instead of rejoicing in Today~ and in Myself. God bless...
Oh Ali that warms my heart! I am so happy for you and so proud of you. I thank God for you, for the gift you've given your family, and I am so proud of your H too. I pray my W get's in touch with her inner vixen. It would really improve our quality of life. Sometimes I wonder if it's her pride that just can't let go. Anyway, congratulations on YOUR success.
Now you might want to think about sending a letter to Michelle and describe your success story so that she can share it with others.
Keep up the great work!
Love,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
COG, You are in my thoughts/prayers and you have been such a help to me~ I will never ever forget what you have done for me! When I listened to your advice and faced "My very own personal Demons".... Result... The sex has been AMAZING.... I have not been able to let go like that in YEARS. And I have really let go and let God and really started to just enjoy my life~ Thanks for being a friend. I will think about that letter too.... I used to peek in on the Piecing Forum like it was this special secret place that only the elite could visit, a place I would never be a part of unless a Miracle happened. I must say I do feel so blessed that I got my miracle. And what a difference a year ( just shy of a year) makes, jut last May I was a pile of mush and in COMPLETE agony. Miracles can really happen~ God bless...
Wow Ali - you are also an inspiration too - just think of all the others (like me) that are still out there that haven't experienced what you have
You are so blessed and I hope to be where you are (not literally of course - lol) some day
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
Thank you sweetie it is people like you ..... .... really people like you that take time to post and how we all support one another that helps so, so much~ I do believe had it not been for the book and especially this forum and the beautiful people in it ( like you)... I would still be laying on my couch in sheer RAW emotional PAIN, just swimming in it. I still remember what one lady here told me.. when you get up off the floor and get to work you will feel so much better. I have received support and 2x4's here that only people who have been to h*ll and back can give. I have grown more this past year than I could have ever dreamed of or hoped for. I hope one day you are where I am too love,,, it feels like I have been really given a second chance to live. Thanks H... God bless you....
Have'nt had an update from you in a few days. Are ya doin OK?
I am glad for you.