I just made an appointment at an attorney's office for next monday. It is going to be hard but I have to keep pushing in this direction. I have to take care of this and begin moving on with my life.

God only knows where life is going to lead me now. Who knows if H will come home with the right mind frame?!?! I just can't sit around and wait for that. I have given him so many opportunities and he has crushed me time after time. So now it is time to let him know that I won't be sitting here waiting on him. If he decides that we are what he wants in life, then we can discuss but at this point, he can't give me what I need.

So, I will be joining the Surviving forum very soon. Funny, I don't really feel bad right now. I am ok and seem to be alright with how things are working out. I guess maybe because I made him leave on my terms. It wasn't him walking out on us. I set my standards and when I knew that he just wasn't commiting to the family, I had to make him leave.

"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."