I'm realizing now that my marriage was really in severe crisis when I first posted here 3 years ago. I didn't know how far gone my H was, and I felt alone and desperate. My fantasy life kicked in, and I was drawn to alpha, dominating type scenarios, mainly because I felt husbandless for so long. I am upset with myself for not taking a stronger stand years ago...there were many times when I felt unsupported. My H really was not ready to take on a wife emotionally. He backed away from conflict and dissociated himself from the stresses of our life together. Personally, I think he married me in part to escape his own family drama. I didn't help matters with my arguing and my sexual rejection.
Well, he is coming forward now and I am really proud of him. I know I can make things work with him if I stay in the present and not get bogged down by bitter memories. I plan to come here and get some feelings out on an as needed basis.
