I agree the snooping kills me, that is why I stoppped it. Until, my curiousity got the best of me the other day. The crazy thing was I did not look to see if they were talking I just wanted to know if she got the message from our pastor. I should not have looked at the phone records. Now thinking back about looking to see if she was talking to him or to see if she got the message from our pastor - does me no good either way. Either way it is out of my hands.
I do realize that confiding in others is not good for our R, but, it does help me deal with the sitch. I know get a C.
I also realize that my W will not just snap out of it...it will only take time. This is hard to deal with when I'm living with her being so cold hearted towards me.
I know do not confide in others. So I keep screwing this up. Last night I went to my friends house who I have been confiding in from the beginning and talked to his W for awhile. Without the A she was were my W currently is at a couple of years ago. All the things that my W is saying and feeling about me, she said to her H. It took them about one and half years of counseling before things got better for them. So I was encouraged by her and that our sitch is bad but not without hope. She did say that we have to start going the MC together. Hopefully that will start soon...
Throughout this experiance I am learning a lot about myself. Thinking about life experiances that I haven't thought about in years. In the end this whole experiance will make me a stronger person, it just hurts like hell going through it.
