Anybody here care to cast some illumination on the way a spouse can go from talking about rebuilding a marriage to absolute certainty that divorce is necessary?

I'm trying to understand why my W is going back and forth on this. It is living hell for both of us.

I'd also like to find out how to help my W move past the hurt she's felt in our marriage. This is one of the things that seems to be holding her back from returning.

Any insight is appreciated.