Life goes on, and it ain't about Job

[81388*]

Hi Ford, I don't know, just feels like I cycle through long periods of calm in the eye of the storm and then have these rants where I just want to take my kids to safety, beat the living sh!t out of OM, and send my wife packing. But then I get some words of advice, chew on it for a day or two and start to see how sick she is, only to ramp back up in a week or two, and fantasize about taking a ball bat to this m@therf*cker's head and tell my wife she can have him, they deserve each other. It is all so bipolar. On the one hand, I feel like I have taken great strides towards detachment, but one mention of OM and I spend the next 3 days fixated on that mental picture, although I don't show that to her. Well not much anyways, I was at her place tonight to pick something up, and the whole time stood in the front hallway, at one point she said you can come in, you don't have to stand there , I declined saying I am really not that comfortable in this house, and although I enjoy seeing her, I really couldn't wait to get out the front door. Before I left, I gave her a hug, told her happy Easter, as I did she started to cry, I told her that I loved her unconditionally, and that it has taken me awhile to come to grips with what that really meant, but that to me it meant that it really didn't matter what she decided to do, I would still love her even if I didn't agree with or support the choices she was making, and that would never change.

YW;
Thanks for the pat on the back. It really hurts to see the kids confused and hurting. They want so much to be supportive of both of us and to not choose sides, but it seems my wife is making that increasingly difficult for them. I really don't understand how she can not see that what she is doing is terribly hurtful to them.