Actually we were at a religious assembly both yesterday and today...I always pack the family lunch...yesterday I packed a steak salad but he disappeared after eating the cookies and never ate the salad... Today, I asked if he wanted the salad for lunch and he said "no"..so I didn't pack it...the only reason I threw in the protien drink was on the off chance he decided he needed something more... I didn't fix dinner just for him and he was a bit miffed that I didn't buy more bread to go with dinner...only one slice for each of us...sort of sent him pouting...again, he eats the fish with a healthy dose of tartar sauce, almonds, 1 piece of bread, and no salad...although he did go back to the kitchen so who knows... He is eating in bed watching the ball game...I really want to go to bed but I chased him out last night and he made my daughter give up her show watching in the front room for him to watch his game...I don't want to do that to the girls again tonight...it sucks when he is like this... When he was working he seemed to do better and treat me nicer...now I feel like he just takes me for granted...not only that but his brother called last night(obviously drunk)and wanted to know what was wrong with H...I told him I didn't know...he wanted to know why he doesn't call him or his mom...again, I don't know...he asked if he was alright...I said physically maybe, emotionally I am not sure...he put his mom on the phone and she asked just the normal how are you doing...they never call me...a month ago I called them both and asked if I had offended them because they only call and ask for H...with us back together I wanted to feel part of the family...they were both very nice, said I hadn't done anything....and they were sorry for ignoring me...so his brother said that since I cared enough to call them he was calling me and didn't want to speak to his brother...just tell him he called...I didn't tell H right away that they called because he was watching game and I was in bed watching TV with D22...the phone rings a short bit later...brother is really pissed and says he wants to talk to his brother...so I take phone to H...I hear H get sarcastic and say good bye...I later get phone back into the room and brother calls back about 20 minutes later...H tells him that he won't accept anyone pushing him around or talking to him the way he was so he hung up....before long, he hangs up again...no more calls...I am sure he really pissed off the family...I don't understand what all is going on there...H seems to want to avoid them...his brother did say that his mom had given him 10K last year...I heard mother get upset in the background for telling me...nothing knew...H took money and credit cash from anyone he could...he is so deep in debt it isn't funny...
I am not sure what is going on...not sure I should even try and open that can of worms...I like his family a lot...I reunited them all since they had been seperated since the kids were little...only H and his sister were together...brother was adopted and mother was not allowed to see him...it was not her fault...bad family involved...
Oh well....I am mentally toasted right now...need chocolate...have to get up at 5 am for a full day of driving...while H sits home pretending to look for a job...
My sister told me today that D20 feels I begged H to come home and too soon...I didn't feel I begged him to come home but accomidated it...and I agree maybe it was too soon...but now with no job, no money, no friends that can take him in...what do I do???...maybe our Elders will have some sound advice and maybe...just maybe it will touch H and make him realize that this time he has everything to lose...
