Life goes on, and it ain't about Job

[81388*]

EMT;
Yes, I understand the feeling of being walked on by the one who least should. As for Christ's teaching on divorce, a clear exception is made for infidelity, so in my case I feel confident that I would be justified either way.

I have been thinking about unconditional love recently. I think the fact that I still love my wife, care about her and what happens to her, and that I am still devoted to making her life better and would freely give of myself to help her, would indicate what I take to be unconditional love. At the same time I find myself realizing more and more that I don't need her the way I once thought I did. Even though I love her and care about her, I don't really like her all that much right now.

My wife is allowing her emotions to convince her to do things that she knows are wrong, and unfortunately, things that are dangerous and unhealthy as well. She is exposing the kids to this insanity, and actually saying things like she wants them to meet the OM on his next visit. At the same time, the last time we spent together, she was very accomadating, up to a point. She basically told me I would have to reschedule the weekends because OM was coming on a weekend she had the kids, and she knew that I didn't want them to have any contact.

At first blush, she was being respectful of my wishes, but at the same time it is a veiled threat, "reschedule, or I will be forced to have kids at my house with OM". I thought about it for a couple of min. and then thanked her for respecting my wishes and said it should not be a problem to reschedule. The whole time I was thinking, "your damn right they won't meet your pathetic piece of sh!t, dysfunctional, f*ck faced, sleep with and get engaged to a married woman, poor excuse for a human being OM. So what you need to do is reschedule your delusional f*ckfest for another weekend!!!!"

The reality of course is that I don't need to reschedule anything, they will stay here, and she will loose yet another weekend with her children, which does not seem to upset her much.

The information about her wanting kids to meet POS comes from D12, who broke down crying last night. She said she didn't want to ruin everything, but felt bad keeping secrets from me. I told her she could tell me anything and I would not be mad at her. She proceeded to tell me that she had seen Mom's ring and asked her about it. Mom's reply, "I am thinking about marrying OM, and I really want you to meet him when he is in town next."
Now even a 12 year old knows you don't where a ring when you are "thinking about it", and you don't get engaged when you are already married. D12 said she does not want to meet OM, hates him and will never want to be around him.

I don't know what to do. I know my wife is just telling me what she thinks I want to hear because it is the path of least resistance, all the while telling D12 she wants them to meet. I really want to hold out hope for my marriage, but at the same time I am starting to feel that I need to look at ways to insulate my children from the insanity.

All thoughts are welcome, my history on this BB has shown that I am often overreactive and short sighted.