questions to all infidelity veterans?????//

[iluvme]

Hey Chicki,

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have a thread here too. But I have been brewing over the same sitch. To sum it up, H introduced kids to OW & her D9 two wks ago. I found H's email confirming rsvp for 2 to really shi-shi restaurant this past Friday and I saw his calendar block out time for 12AM TONITE and my S5 told me they are going to grandma's for Easter. I think my H has some pretty good plans with OW this wkend. So I really had a tough 2 wks with all these discoveries.

I realize that it bothers us b/c we are not detaching. It matters to us what our WAS does and says to us. While intellectually, we comprehend what moving on means, our hearts have not caught up to that stage. So it hurts like hell to know that the OW is involved in your kids' lives and that he is blatantly spending time with her.

I think you did the right thing in setting up the boundaries of your home. He knows you love him but if he is doing overnites at her place then he should sleep in other room.

I think the previous poster gave the best advice. Do whatever it takes to detract from the road that you are traveling. Staying in the home alone and tapping on your fingers wondering what H and girls are doing with OW is going to pull you down. If your GF can't go out with you. Just go out to the bookstore or coffee shop and read some magazines. Go see a movie or find an activity to occupy your mind and time for that nite. It is just hard to break the cycle of negativity when you are doing the same things that isn't bringing about changes to your favor. It takes a conscious effort on our part to try and make ourselves "happy" b/c we are still hurt. But it can only help us to GAL b/c if we do it, then we will see, feel, and believe that we can be happy with ourselves and not depend on WAS to gage our happiness.