While I was there I told him that I was cooking for Easter Sunday and he was welcome to join us if he didn't have any plans, but if he did that would be okay. He said okay. I have no expectations, I was just trying to be nice.
YoYo, I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with inviting your H to a family event, as long it's done from a position of strength versus fear.
I think the questions the LBS needs to ask themselves when considering extending an invitation are these. Do you know what your motive is? Are you mindful of why you're asking him/her to join this particular event? Are your expectations realistic? Are you working enough on DB, GAL, detachment, acceptance, and personal growth, or spending too much energy pursuing the WAS? Where you're at in your own DB process, will determine when you're strong enougth to extend invitations.
We need to continue to be compassionate to our spouses. We also need to utilize the strengths inherent in our situations. If your H's participation in a family event moves him closer to reconciliation, than it was a smart decision. If he experiences your compassion for him, and gets to observe that you're getting stronger and more independent, than it's also a good thing for him to see. If he get to see you pursue, and operate from a position of needing reassurance, than it's a mistake
I think what's more important is how it affects you. If he comes, it will reveal where you're at in the pain-to-power continuum.
You seem comfortable with the invitation, so I'll support it, and be curious to see what happens.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
