Lin, it bothered me when you said a few posts ago that I was dependent on H and now dependent on this board... Am I posting too much?
Actually I believe I stated you were codependent...it has nothing to do with posting too much but more with your ability to start making decisions on your own without questioning yourself...you ask us...we tell you...you ask us again (maybe rewording it) and we answer again...this creates a circle that isn't healthy...you need to log your posts so you can go back and reassure yourself if need be...
You did/do this to H as well...although you have appeared to be getting better with this...the sad part for us is we KNOW what you need to do and you fight us on it (sometimes)and then you want us to reassure you that you didn't screw it up...we can't really do that...all we can do is tell you what we have learned and what we have seen work over and over...and we all KNOW that this goes against what we feel we should do...
i.e....how many times have you asked us if your marriage still has hope???...and how many times have we said that there is ALWAYS hope until your spouse D's and remarries???
i.e....you keep fixating on the 6 month mark of H's A...even though we have all told you that it is not in stone...that it doesn't really matter in the long run...just because it might go 1 year or more doesn't mean all is lost and doom has taken over...we keep telling you that you need to place your focus on you and not on H, OW, and A....that is how YOU CAN FIX THIS...but you still reason things to do it your way...including the idea of Easter with his family which I still think it is going to be a BIG EMOTIONAL ELEPHANT FOR YOU...but you use the reason that you don't want to hurt anyone...ever think that this might not hurt anyone???...I have missed major family functions...family understands...they get over it...they don't live and die for you to visit!...not being mean...just honest...
Yes I do appreciate that you are honest...if you weren't it would be a huge waste of all of our time here...but by the same token if you stay stuck no matter what we say...then what is accomplished???
You acknowledge this...but you still continue to do things that are self destructive...case in point...you realized that moving the office was a good idea...we all agreed it was a great idea...you started looking into it and getting ready...then BAM!!!...you slammed that door shut and had all kinds of reasons that it wouldn't be good...sorry, but I still think working away from H is exactly what you need to do...it will give you time to focus and regroup...I think you need to work your but off and then enjoy some time with the girls...have them over...you need to get settled with being alone and being okay with that because you have a JOB to do!
Had a long day....H acted like a butt and everyone wanted to know what his problems was....I just shrugged my shoulders and said "your guess is as good as mine"...we went to a nice Italian Buffett after and he wouldn't even sit with his family...everyone asked him about it and he said he wanted to sit where he sat down...they looked at me...I just said "whatever he wants"...so I am still working on things....I am not feeling out of the woods yet!!!....but I won't bother you with my issues...I can stand this for a while longer...it was much worse (that is what I keep telling myself)
