Backslide today....more like landslide!!

[25yearsmlc]

hi guys,

"risk my kids getting mad at me..."ummm, yeah I sure would. I totally agree about the mil being afraid of bugging her badly behaving son, whom she may never have once disciplined, and blood is thicker --blah blah blah. WITH GOD AS MY WITNESS, if my son EVER does this &%&%** to MY grandkids,

I will be the one who is MAD and HE will hear about it b/c I will fly out to wherever he lives, with whomever, and flippin' apologize for somehow not teaching him the meaning of vows. Then I will REMIND him and do some 'splainin' about right and wrong. Then I'd go over the grandkids and d-il and HELP THEM...geez!!
If the DIL is a nut, I'll still be there for the grandkids. THEY are ALSO our flesh and blood and what about that?
Sorry I'm screaming. I am in "piecing" and am grateful to be there, I promise. BUT my mil has dropped from the face of the earth for me and our children. NOT ONE call to them or here, unless H was here...I will NEVER ask or expect anything of her. Yet what a loss for her. To have no real relationships with her only grandchildren. After d18 has already gotten the short end of the stick with H missing her last two years at home with us, in high school, MIL said she can't come to d18's graduation b/c she has to take care of her DOGS, (I swear) who she said, and I'm quoting her exactly: "You know, my dogs aren't gonna be around forever...I want to spend as much time with them as...." THIS --from a grandmother who last saw her granddaughters....I swear, I cannot remember---at least a full year, maybe two or three??

Our son's college is on the east coast, so when he visits MY family, which is 3 hours from her, HE takes a bus/train to go spend an afternoon with her... once a year, maybe twice. That's it. She gives him money....Her only grandchildren...she makes NO effort to see them. Has visited our home once in 17 years, the week my dad died.

But then I tell myself, BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR....What IF she Did come? Gross, plus FIL and MIL divorced decades ago and HE is coming. Irony is, HE has been supportive and invited daughters to see him and his wife, who is great...you never know who WILL be there for you and it can be as shocking as who isn't.

Sorry to hijack Mom2, I've been thinking of you a lot. Your mil and the photos, and comment, obviously, "...ummm pushed my buttons-lights flashing---, etc.

and btw, I'm a L and 6k is a big retainer if you aren't wealthy....H earns 6 figures and I paid half that as a retainer, here near LA, and got most back when I withdrew the sep papers. Where do you live again? I should probably move there to practice law...except I HATE divorce law, and the most likely L's to be killed are divorce lawyers....big surprise there.

I forgot, you DO have your own, right? God, your H DOES win some award for nerve...and total obliviousness. Don't overdo the guilt trips b/c men can only handle so much of it (guess women too) and with my H, after a SMALL dose of guilt he'll feel overwhelmed and lash out. I read some Russian author who said, "When men feel guilt, they attack." Interesting. My H is half Russian...
Remember Mom2, this too, shall pass. You will survive, and more.
j-