NEW THREAD FOR 2940 --- HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[25yearsmlc]

Meow meow!! Scratch scratch!! Cat Fight with HS and 25!! And it's DRUG RELATED!!!

Hrrumph!! 2940-- here's the deal. A bunch of us have been where you are and somehow got the hell out. Not as far as some, but we got "unstuck". But honestly, for ME, it took LOTS of support and most of it came from women. (DB coach also helped a lot, btw) But since others here on this thread have been with you longer, it can start to feel as if we are wasting time/efforts b/c there doesn't seem to be much movement over time. Recall that each one of us have actually been where you are, with some different aspects--the pain of rejection and the fear of the future are the same-- and we're telling you whatever it was that worked for us, or one of our "sistahs", and you gotta try something new, b/c what you are doing is not enough, apparently. Frankly, I think you are about to hit the wall and it'll be pivotal for you. I mean that very very soon, I think, you are just gonna be sick and tired of feeling like crap and you will do whatever the heck it takes to stop the pain in a life changing way--not from numbing it, but from finishing with the crippling part of this. You know down deep, you are a good, lovable woman who deserves better than this. Re-read the posts here. Really. Think about that quote about your life being a novel. Who is writing YOUR life's book? How is this chapter going? is the next chapter going to be written by you and how is IT going to go? Be the author of your life and stop letting a mixed up man write it for you. Besides, with someone else writing it, YOU KNOW it won't go the way YOU want it to. Since this is the only life you know you'll have, make it Your way.

As for getting back to sleep (of course, I SAY "YES" TO DRUGS--Geez, j/k!) seriously, if you aren't sleeping well it does suck, not to mention make you look tired. The wellbutrin is a stimulant to many, so whenin the day do you take it?

What about getting an ipod or some CDs for relaxation? I have some just for those middle of the night horrors, and they do help to calm my brain down when the negative thoughts crash past my walls and get into my head. Find and listen to something that comforts you, or maybe bores you(?) Or both.

In the "dark nights of the soul", it does help to talk to the big guy upstairs. Make a plan ahead of time, for those tough nights. They will become fewer and fewer, and last less and less time. Have faith. As for a specific action recommendation: well, for God's sake, ELIMINATE/REDUCE your contact with your H asap...and RE-read the posts on detachment. GAL and detachment go hand in hand, although I don't think the order matters much. And "faking it 'til you make it" does work. Changing the behavior can lead to a change in emotion, so you don't have to "feel" better first. Make sense?
good luck,
j-