I fear my H running away from dealing with his issues I fear my H refusing to work on himself. I fear my H running away from God. I fear my dis regarding our marriage vows. ~PH
I fear that my wife really does not love me. I fear she will never wake up, never come back. I fear she will never let go of her anger and pain. I fear that she will marry the OM. I fear my kids will love me less than the OM or call him Daddy. I fear I will be alone. I fear that I brought this on myself. I fear that what W says about me is true. I fear that the depression and anxiety will never go away. I fear that I will be mourning this loss for the rest of my life. I fear my pain will make me unavailable to my kids. I fear I will have to sell my house. I fear that my wife will be happy and I will be sad. I fear that the best years of my life are in the past. I fear I will never again be able to sleep more than 4 hours per night.
I know lots of these are unrealistic, but they are my fears nonetheless. By writing them here, I hope to banish them and reveal them to be absurd.
-SH
"Now some kind of man, he can't do anything wrong. If I see him I'll tell him you're waiting." ---Lowell George
I fear my H really is happier without me. I fear my kids will be terribly hurt by all of this. I fear my kids will blame me. I fear my H has an OW, and is happy with her. I fear my H may never return to me. I fear my H will be happy and I will always carry sadness. I fear I will be "replaced" by an OW by my H and our friends. I fear I will always be alone. I fear moving home and leaving my H here. I fear not moving home and my H moving away from here. I fear being divorced. I fear the unknown.
Gee all our fears are the same.....imagine that.....I also fear the medical community will never catch up with this MLC and give it the attention it so desperately needs to help us and so many more like us.....
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
I fear she will never wake up, never come back. I fear she will never let go of her anger and pain. I fear that she will marry the OM. I fear my kids will love me less than the OM or call him Daddy. I fear I will be alone. I fear that I brought this on myself. I fear that what W says about me is true. I fear that the depression and anxiety will never go away. I fear that I will be mourning this loss for the rest of my life. I fear my pain will make me unavailable to my kids. I fear I will have to sell my house. I fear that my wife will be happy and I will be sad. I fear that the best years of my life are in the past. I fear I will never again be able to sleep more than 4 hours per night.
She will wake up. The second one I can't guarantee. Anger is too hard to hold on to. It will subside. Jim Conway says they RARELY marry the OM. Don't worry about the kids. They know who Daddy is. You will be alone for a while. Embrace it and experience it. It won't last. Perhaps some of it you caused. None of us are saints. Work on your part. When one side of the equation changes, the equation changes. I don't think ANY of us are THAT bad! In other words, they talk sh*t and exaggerate greatly. They need to justify their shameful behavior. Grab some meds for the time being. It WILL go away, in spite of you. You will mourn, but the pain will become duller and duller. Don't LET the fear make you unavailable to them. THEY are most important. You may have to sell. I did. You'll live. Now I'm sad to leave this crappy apartment! She may be happy to a degree, but you will be stronger AND happier! If you do the footwork, it is IMPOSSIBLE for your life not to improve. Trazadone helps the sleep thing. I'm up to 6 hours. Exercise a bit and you will sleep. Moping around results in pent up energy. Do what I did and buy a basketball. I suck at basketball, but running after all the missed shots gives me exercise!
Get The Power of A Praying Husband and start reading it.
It really helps.
David
The fires of true love can never be quenched, because the source of its flame is God Himself! - Shulamith
