Penny, I'm not sure what advice you need. I like to hear that you're gaining increased confidence that you can manage this situation. This is a sign that you're getting stronger.
It sounds like you have an extended family network that has been a significant part of your life. I don't recall how much family members know about your situation. I guess what's difficult for you, is maintaining these connections, given the status of your M.
Participating in the family gatherings with or without your H is difficult. Things are not the same. We are reminded of the loss that has occurred. Maintaining connections forces us to face that our spouses are not present or that the R is different.
It sounds like you're at a point where you will decide what to participate in, and to what extent, and connect with family even though things are different, and it will be awkward at first. The difference is you're no longer going to dread or avoid these situations. You and I understand that we have to maintain our connections to the world, and important people in our lives to move from pain to power.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
