New To SSM

[COG]

Well I think I probably shifted the balance today, did'nt last long "doing nothing". W and I were at a function this afternoon. She was touchy feely with anyone that came near her, except ME. Not in a sexual way mind you, just friendly, but it just made things clear to me.

So I came home with a piece of furniture that we'd discussed a couple of weeks ago, and she gives me a dirty look and the cold shoulder. So I was a little dumbfounded because we'd already discussed it, then I lost it. Said I was done with this, and left to take the chair back. She called me right away and said the chair was OK, bring it back, and I told her if she wanted it she could go get it herself.

Well I took awhile to calm down and then I called and asked her if she could talk. So we took a drive. I told her I was'nt done with our M, but I was done being [censored] on, and if this was the way it's going to be then I AM done with the M. I laid out a few times recently when she was rude. I told her that I admit I screwed up in the M, but I'd changed, made amends, and I'm DONE being [censored] on for it.

There were a few other things, basically it was no holds barred. I was calm, and I was honest. Well she apologized several times during the evening for being mean, and cold. She said she hates being that way to me, said it's not like her. I had one surprise. I said that I know exactly where I failed the M, that I'd taken steps to change, but that I was'nt sure if she knew where she failed. Her response was, "yes I do." She went on to say she put everything before me, and she was a poor communicator. The surprise is that after five years of trying to put this M together, that's the first time I've ever heard her say that she put everything before me. Well, alleleuia, it only took half a decade for her to admit that. Now you see what I have to deal with here.

I'm not making any predictions. I know she does'nt want a D, but she does'nt want to change either. If things don't change then I'll be leaving, I'm pretty sure about that. One thing is for sure, I'm not taking any more crap from her.

I'm doing fine, don't worry about me. I'm kickin ass and taken names. God's will be done.

Love,

COG