I hope this week-end is very special for your son and you and your family. Enjoy such a special occasion.
Tam,
Remember I WILL MAKE IT!!!!! I'm telling you this little saying helps tremdously. Because you will one way or another. When you are in a dark valley it is hard to see the top of the Mountain but it is there...I was like you I couldn't function. I had friends tell me that I couldn't go this way it was going to ruin my health. It is going to make my self sick. Once I kinda let go of some of the negativity I started to gain back some control. I could not dwell on OW and H because it will consume you and everything you do. Your work doesn't get done you feel like you are spiraling down that Black Tunnel and can't get a hold of the top and pull yourself up.
I found out about A in October it had started the end of Aug. I thought I would not make it thru this one. But after reading post on this site and different threads you get great advice but you have to take control of YOU. WE can't do that for you. YOU HAVE TO DO THAT no one can do it for you. There is no other way.
My H saw me like that. It didn't help my cause because he saw me weak and her strong. I have had to hear how admirable she is because she has picked her self up. (Not really her parents have bailed her out) but he won't except that because she told him how hard she had worked. I took it that everything that I do was nothing so it drove me farther in the black tunnel. She is tall and wild and no morals so it made me go farther in the black hole. THEN I finally woke up and said enough.....You guys are giving great advice take it and put it to use. It has been like a small cloud lifted. It hasn't taken the whole dark cloud away but it is a start and I know you can do it too. You have to, no one can do it for you. YOU have to make the decision I am going to not obsess about H starting with just a day. Tam you have the choice to become dependent on drugs or make YOU haveto make the first step and stop being negative today and become more positive. I have read and read the steps that I told you about. I don't use all of them at once but I go back and see if there is something that would help me be strong and become positive. I WILL MAKE IT.
I have finally come to the conclusion that I have to move ahead even if I fall back once in a while I am making progress. It mostly has been from reading all these threads and postings.
You are making steps. Keep thinking Hey IMLIN had made it, 1210 is making it, I am not a lone and we are all so alike it is scary because you think you are the only one in the world there are other people just like us experiencing this.
Well it is late. I am here for you... I am in a position about EAster where I finally asked if he had plans. Both of the boys are gone. HIs family always have big family dinners but I think he just wants to stay away from them. It doesn't matter to me. he said he thought he would come down. We will see. I was also going to tell you I am an only child and I haven't told my parents much at all. MY dad has Anxiety attacks so I am like you I don't want to upset them till I have to. My mom is a worry person. Mind you I am 48 years old and she still worries way to much. I can relate how you don't want to tell them. It is so hard.
Ok I have written my book again. Tam YOU WILL MAKE IT......
Hug for you. I hope I haven't said to much but I care for you. Please take care of yourself
I know how hard it is to be by yourself at night. My boys are gone so I am here by myself. It has been really hard because we have always had alot of people around now noone. I hated nights but I would be so tired I would sleep for a few hrs and wake up. I still don't sleep all the way thru. but I feel like I am getting in more control. You have to take control of your life and business. I had get a hold of our business because I felt in going into the black tunnel with me. Like you I have a lot of people depending on me with this business and my job. You have to get control I am here for you to lean on. Every time I thought I needed someone to lean on, I would say ok God you got to lift my shoulders up. I am not super religious but Tam it does help.
