Don't worry about the backsliding. I was once known around here as the king of backsliding...just ask around
Ya know what? It doesn't matter how much backsliding you do as long as you learn from it. That is what matters.
The OM isn't better at making the W happy. Happiness comes from within and he is just a temporary fix. My W will eventually learn this also and will probably end up knocking at my door at some point and it is pretty much too late for that now. The OM is a drug. They feel the "newness" of it all. It will wear off and more than likely he is a lot like you.
You will mourn the R for quite some time. I still am, but the "episodes" don't last long at all now.
M-35 going on 15 D-8 S- 3 yrs ex-CL(w)- 30
D over one year
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. Douglas Adams "Just Be"