I thought about my post after I submitted it. I was afraid that is sounded like I thought H would refer to his "fog" times in the group. I totally didn't mean that- would have been mortified! I just didn't expect the "happily ever since" part. Maybe just, "we got married in 1996" and left it at that.
I agree that he may worried about me throwing stuff back in his face but so far I've refrained from doing that. I always remember a friend telling me that that was what he worried about with his ExW and why he didn't go back. Don't get me wrong- some comments cross my mind at times but I always get past them. I definitely have developed that filter that stops everything that comes to mind from crossing my lips! This skill will no doubt help in all parts of my life.
As far as how do I do it? A lot of selective memory and figuring that we all need to live day by day even when things are good. Thinking about what is best for my kids and believe it or not, what is best for H. And myself. (I'm not trying to be a martyr here)
Nice thing for my holiday- H commented that he must be a scrooge or something because he doesn't get into the holiday traditions. I said that I know what he means but I really think we ought to try for the kiddos. He went out today and picked up a bunch of stuff for Easter baskets! I've already thanked him but plan to follow up with how great it is that he took care of this.
Happy Easter everyone! Try to persevere even though the holidays are especially tough when you are in the throes of dealing with MLC.
