Its been a weird week. I have been going "dark" for the most part and avoiding my W. I figure its just easier that way for now. I havent seen her since tuesday morning. I just waved bye as i kissed my D goodbye. Since my W works closing hours at the restaurant I dont see her after work. In the mornings Im usually out the door before they get up for school. Normally I wake up when i hear my W come home at night and I say "hi", but Ive just been getting out of our bed with my D and slipping into the other bedroom. She called me at work today to ask about the tips she had in a jar. I took it to deposit and pay bills. I think she knew "why" i took it because the bills where in there with the cash. Maybe it was an excuse to talk to me. I dont know. I reminded her I had to pay the insurance bill and that is why i took the cash. She said ok. We discussed the baby-sitter for today b/c school is out and thats it. I said have a good day! Thats it. I wonder if she thinks anything about us or not. Its hard to read her and Im usually wrong. Last night my D joked about how crabby mom is all the time. It felt kind of nice to know Im not the only one who sees it. Still its sad too. My 10 year old shouldnt have to keep dealing with her parents problems. Other then that im keeping my mind busy with other things and NOT thinking about my W as much. I have been working on losing weight for the past few months. I lost 14lbs but got my head out of wack again with our issues. Its time to get serious again and stay focused on me. I need to lose another 15 lbs by summer.
