Matilda and Friends, I wanted to update you on my situation. Here's what happened this week.
My W calls me daily. The tone is pleasant. The conversations are pleasant.
One of the phone calls involved her needing support with her fear of changing jobs. I know her procrastination and avoidance patterns. I gave her advice which I felt she could follow to help her feel more powerful and move forward to a more appropriate work environment.
We went out to dinner last night. I put on my listening hat and listened to her current adventures. She has been invited to participate in a dance competition with one of the better salsa dancers in town. I think this is a wonderful opportunity for her to increase confidence. She has my support with this.
She asked me to go with her to a family outing on Sunday. I usually say yes immediately, but asked for some time to think about it. I will likely say yes, and give her at least a day's notice.
I believe the LBS has to use the positives already in place in the R. I believe one can be detached, yet still maintain a positive connection to the spouse.
She wants to put more effort in decorating and cleaning the house. She has neglected this for some time--I think due to depression. I will also support this, and participate. Home ownership can be a way for a couple to connect. As I said, utilize the positives already present.
It's confusing to participate in these seemingly positive interactions, yet she chooses to sleep elsewhere 2-3X per week.
Is there anything I should be doing differently, or better, or stay the course?
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
