Kels - it is true, they have to go through their own hell, it was their doing so let them sweat it out.
However, there does have to be some encouragement to make them want to come back too
As for the AD, he might need them more when he comes back then he does now. It can be VERY traumatic for them (and us). I know, even though my H never left, the "withdrawal" from the OW was VERY painful for both of us (I am still feeling the after effects - he seems to want to move on and forget it ever happened)
My H is still on AD and probably will be for quite some time - he says he is "scared" to come off them and go back into that "black hole"
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
