The Oosalem bird is still flying around!

[TabD]

Millymoose,
I agree with Grace, you got hooked, there is nothing you can do to change the past... let's move forward and learn from the mistakes that we make... And yes we all make them

I can only imagine how much pain you are going thru. Each of us have our own sitch, but yet they all seem the same in some way.

VENT here. You are doing great with that.. keep it up and work on DB'ing... b/c I believe you are doing a wonderful job! take it a day at a time and enjoy the 'good' times together!!!

[millymoose]

Now I am going to vent and I am afraid you have to listen........and hopefully comment!!

Picked up son tonight and went round and gave him a bath.

Noticed holiday brochure on side for holiday cottages. She said she needed to get away as she was so tired and it transpires it will be end of June.....davedick's 40th!!!!

She went on to say it probably would not happen as nothing is booked.

Anyway I made no comment and we carried on playing with our son and had a couple of beers/wine.

I then noticed a postcard on the side from Davedick from Oz with a picture of a train.....words were all gushy..blaaah to my son.

W made some comments about how it must be hard for me to have son all day on my own and that it is probably difficult coping on my own. I said not diificult but without 10 minutes here and there during the day it can get quite stressful!! She said she understood and that I must miss him but that she had all the hard work!!!

We talked about how hard it was for me not being with Sam 24/7 and that she knows how much I miss that. Also that n0-one else would replace me!!

I am going round tomorrow to put together Sam's first 'big boys bed' and she has ummed and ahhed but realised that ' Daddy' should be there for his first time in big bed.

Anyway she asked if we ' could break bread' and have a take-away together and would I go and get another bottle of wine!! I did and we had a very nice night.

Lots of things were said under the surface tonight but I cannot quite decipher them and whether I made right noises in response.

She said as I left that it was a great night and thanks for sharing dinner!!

I am so scared that I am filling a void at the moment!!

[Grace_O]

You got a nice positive in her saying is was a great night. So, you must have made some good noises.

Don't listen to her nonsence about what is or is not going to happen with regards to the trip. She's breathing (hence could be lying). Until something happens there's no point in putting any energy into it.

I'm curious what she meant about her having all the hard work?
She's right about NO ONE being able to replace you. Even though she hummed and hawed about the bed she got that you should be there. I hope you said "thank you". We need to acknowledge the good/nice stuff they do. Even though it makes me want to gag to do it sometimes .


All in all it did end on a good note eh?

Be well.

[millymoose]

Yes thank you Grace it ended with a kiss on the cheek.

I did say thank you a lot for involving me and she said well you are most imprtant so all in all it was good.

The fact that she asked me to stay for dinner AND get a bottle of wine was good.

And no I am not getting carried away. She just sent ANOTHER spurious text asking if I had something in a cupboard (closet) knowing that I don't!!!

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Moose,

Not much time to talk on a 30 minutes lunch.

You HAVE to learn how to be positive and friendly and up beat when you ARE around her. AND to dettach and not get depressed when you are not around her, because you will seem depressed the next time you see her.

Easy to say, hard to do, need to figure out how you can do it.

[Grace_O]

You can be her safe place. The kiss is good, I'd actually have to check my journal to see when the last kiss of hug I got was (sigh). It's not so bad though.

I'm so glas she sees you as important. You are! You're a good man and a great Dad. Don't you dare believe otherwise!


See the good stuff and try to keep it safe in your heart until the next time.

[millymoose]

Thanks JTB and Grace

I am positive and friendly and that clearly disturbs her!! maybe I am hoping there but as dick is away I do have a more 'balanced' life than him in her eyes and I REMAIN SAMS DAD! I have to remind myself as well!!

[millymoose]

Oh grace forgot to say the hugs come when you leat expect it! Your time soon

[Grace_O]

mm,

No one can take the Dad title from you. It can't be all bad that your friendly attitude disturbs her. On some level I'm sure it gives her something to think about.

Thanks.

[geordie]

OK...found your new post!

I am positive and friendly and that clearly disturbs her!! maybe I am hoping there but as dick is away I do have a more 'balanced' life than him in her eyes and I REMAIN SAMS DAD! I have to remind myself as well!!

YES YOU DO!!! And you will always be important to her no matter what. But my take is that while DD is away you need to be the one she can feel comfortable with...no R talk, no feeling depressed around her etc. She needs to see what she is losing. It is great that she is still involving you in Sam's bed etc and you have to realise that this will not be making DD happy although he cannot say that to her as he cannot show his true colours yet. I think this is true anyway. Keep being the "nice guy" and DD will start getting more and more bothered by her relationship with you...and I don't think that will go down too well with her in the long run.

Even if they do go away to a cottage, so what. In some respects it may be a good thing for them to have time together for a while so she can really see what she could end up with. I know how hard this is...I have struggled with it and my H ended up going to Vegas with OW for New Year!!! AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH! Of course to this day he doesn't know I know...... But in my heart I knew they had to spend some exclusive days together because the snatched days here and there could continue until reality starts to set in.

Keep the bird flying!