First off, welcome to the psych ward! Check in at the desk and deposit your valuables in the safe. (Sorry, my sense of humor is slightly warped.)
Let me tell you something about men. Being one myself, I have amazing psychic insight to our fragile little inner workings.
We are weak. Weak in the flesh, weak in spirit. We act like we want to be alone, but it scares the crap out of us. We need someone to take care of us and make us feel like we are what we perceive ourselves to be (Most often, we are not even close.). We are creatures of ego and are perpetual adolescents. We like to be told we are sexy, attractive and strong, even if we aren't. If we aren't getting that, we tend to look where we will get it. Especially when we are weakening ourselves with other influences that give us a false sense of well-being.
How do I know? Been there, done that.
I don't think I need to tell you where I am heading with this, but I believe you need to prepare yourself for what is probably going on in your husband's life. If you start to realize it now, although it will be a harsh reality regardless, you have time to prepare yourself for it.
The drinking is an attempt to escape. In the course of that escape, many other external factors arise. Most of the time, they are less than honorable. Under the influence of those chemicals we deem so wonderful, our judgment fades, right and wrong are no longer as defined, and we act on impulse.
It seems as though he may have followed one of those impulses into the abyss.
Protect yourself. Fix yourself. Take care of yourself. People are depending on you and YOU are depending on you. YOU is what you are going to need to rely on through this ordeal either way it turns out.
Be definite! Make your decisions clearly and logically. And stop being his life line to the shore. He will have to face the reality at some point that this is enough. Don't take the soft side when it come to yourself.
Be strong.
Take care and God bless, Moon
Argue your limitations and sure enough, they are yours. - Richard Bach
