My marriage feels hopeless

[Elmrjfud]

ERC,
don't mean to chime in un-invited ( i am new here and don't have any concrete answers on how to make things better) but have been reading your sitch and just had a thought i needed to throw into the mix.... in my sitch , my WAS has reacted quite negatively to anyone or anything that suggests she is wrong. Obviously you know that this confrontation might not sit well wth her or you would't have fought it as you have. If there is a chance that the 2 pastors and lady from your church can impress upon her that you did fight the confrontation, it may buffer it a little if it angers her... in my opinion it will seem as if you instigated it unless they are clear in telling her that you didn't.... maybe you've already thought of this,,, hope it goes well in any case.

feeling for you.