My marriage feels hopeless

[EmtnRllrCstr]

Theoden,

I am familiar with Hosea and have read through it a couple of times since this has all happened. Actually my wife also did in the beginning of all this mess. As you know when Hosea finally get Gomer back he buys her back as a slave. While in the market he buys a white robe and wraps it around her. My wife since all this BS started has dreamt not once but twice that I wrapped a white robe around her and she finally let down her guard. Do you think God maybe telling her something??? Like you said she is NUTZ and I might eventually go nutz myself.

Thanks for the encouragement. How is your sitch? I thought I read somewhere that you might be getting to a spot of make it or break it. I am praying for you brother.

I should also mention that I just caught wind that my head pastor at our church might try to talk to my W. This whole sitch scares the crap out of me. But then again I have already lost my W, how can this hurt the sitch more?

-EmtnRllrCstr

[Yoyowife]

I hope I can have the patience that Hosea had, and it pays off for me! Your wife's dream,wow, that is something. Does she know the story also?

Maybe you or someone else can give me advice. I held off making Easter lunch plans thinking the my H may want the girls to go to his parents. So far he has not asked the girls. So I talked to oldest D last night and she confirmed that they had no plans with H or his family, so I will cook. My family lives out of state so it will only be m and 2 D's for lunch. I have not heard from H since Sunday. Do I remain detached and not invite him or do I invite him? Theoden, you know my sitch, any ideas!

[EmtnRllrCstr]

Personally I would go about making plans with your 2 DD. If your H asks about the girls and easter you can extend an offer. It will be nice for you and your girls to have something to look forward to this Sunday, instead of being in limbo.

If I were you my plans this Sunday would go like this:
- Get up early let the girls do the easter morning thing (basket, egg hunt)
- go to Church (worship and fellowship always makes me feel better)
- prepare a nice meal and see if the girls would help.
- go get some icecream.

Yes, my wife does know the store of Hosea. That is the crazy thing throughout this sitch. God has shown my wife his will a few times and those dreams are just a couple of examples. She is a runner and man is she running from me rightnow. The hard thing for me to hear and anyone else that loves her is that she is using her faith to justify what she is doing.

Today is the first day in years that my W has not contacted me first thing in the morning to let me know about her day....kind of sad. Maybe this is neccesary it might help me detach.

--EmtnRllrCstr

[mcojh]

ERC- My Crazy W told me that God had put her and the OM together. I was tempted to beat her with a Bible...(JUST KIDDING) and then she told me that we were all sinners. I bit my tongue, but I wanted to tell her that she has Commandment 6 covered, but I wasn't sure which one I was trampling....

Buck up....my W has really cut back on calls etc. Every time she talks to you and you are upbeat and positive, it drives them batty.

[theoden]

Wow...

What a powerful dream.

Oh, brother, that you might take the white robe and wrap her around it and put a ring on her finger and call her your own.

And hold her, and love her.

Here's the song by Bob Dylan, Make You Feel My Love. I cried when they sang in church last week.

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rollin' sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love

________________________________________
My sitch needs to be posted.

--Theoden

[theoden]

Yoyo,

Not to hijack ERC.

Invite him if you really feel like you want to.

I think you've been inviting him over a lot to "spend the night". Maybe not inviting him to Easter. Rather, invite some friends.

Heck...invite me.

--Theoden

[Yoyowife]

Wouldn't it be nice if we could have DB get togethers!

My way of thinking right now is that I will not invite him. I think he needs to make contact. Detachment. I have not talked to him since Sunday and I am staying very busy. D has dance team tryouts this week. I am supporting her and trying to take care of her needs as it is a very stressful week for her. It's sad that H hasn't called once this week to see how everything is going for her and I'm not talking about for my sake, I talking about being there for her. She has her own cell so he can call her personally.

[EmtnRllrCstr]

Yoyo,

Wish your D goodluck for me with her Dance team tryouts. I like your plan for Sunday - go with it. I agree a DB get together would be great. I year that theoden makes a killer potato salad which he could bring. ;-)

Everybody please do not shoot me about what I am about to type. Sometime in the near future 2 pastors and a lady from our church is going to confront my wife about her sin. I have been fighting them on this for almost 3 months now and really I am getting wornout. I know that everyone says NO DO NOT DO THIS, well you can tell me I told you so later. I have not heard the logistics of everything that is going to occur but I know that it is going to occur. I did have a say on who could confront my wife, atleast I think I do. I might be digging a bigger hole for myself or this might be the first correct course of action that has taken yet. We will see..... I of course will keep you all informed of what occurs.

Please keep me and my family in your prayers.

-EmtnRllrCstr

[Yoyowife]

ERC,
Have you read "Love Must Be Tough" by Dobson. It talks about letting a small group of Christians confront the betrayer and make them accountable. There is more to his book, but this is in it . It talks about setting them free and let them know that you will not be a doormat, not something I'm comfortable with though. It just it might give you a different point of view. I know it goes against DB, but maybe you can take a little of DB and a little of Dobson. I wish we had all of the answers, then we wouldn't be going through this, would we?

[Elmrjfud]

ERC,
don't mean to chime in un-invited ( i am new here and don't have any concrete answers on how to make things better) but have been reading your sitch and just had a thought i needed to throw into the mix.... in my sitch , my WAS has reacted quite negatively to anyone or anything that suggests she is wrong. Obviously you know that this confrontation might not sit well wth her or you would't have fought it as you have. If there is a chance that the 2 pastors and lady from your church can impress upon her that you did fight the confrontation, it may buffer it a little if it angers her... in my opinion it will seem as if you instigated it unless they are clear in telling her that you didn't.... maybe you've already thought of this,,, hope it goes well in any case.

feeling for you.