HS...I wouldn't go so far as to advise that Tam stop taking her meds...i do think that maybe seeing a Psychiatrist would be best as they (not Psychologists) can actually prescribe medications..
Tam in your condition I think more then your general physician would be a good thing to consider...you need emotional counseling with physical support...I am not saying the medications don't work...or don't have their place...but caution should be used...
One thing that has come to me is your codependency...sadly it is what you have/had with H...and now you are forming it with us...you keep asking over and over the same things...you keep asking us to tell you what to do...initially we all need direction but there comes a point where we (the one asking for help)has to move forward with a plan...either what we glean from others...or what we have figured out on our own...
Tam...you have been at this for six months now???...It is time for you to TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR SITUATION...I am not saying that I won't be here for encouragement but I do think that you need to start moving on your own...codependency is not healthy...emotionally or physically...you have moved from your H to us and now it is time for YOU to focus on YOU...take care of yourself...and as Penny stated...YOU WILL MAKE IT!!!
We have all been through this aweful place...some farther then others...I still have bad days...last night I cried because as much as I had imagined my trip to Hawaii filled with romance...well lets say it was a great trip, I had a great time, but it was far from the romantic trip I had imagined...it hurts to go on your dream cruise and have your H want to play ping-pong more then spend alone time with you...we didn't have any alone time in 8 days we were gone...like I said the trip was fine...it was MY expectations that got me in trouble...see, even I still have hard days...now that we are home I hope my H will get a job soon...he quit his job mid-Feb and said he would have another by the end of the month...well that came and went...he said he would jump into getting one when we got back from our cruise...well he looked up on job but "needs to get his resume in order"....last time I heard those words it took him a month to do it and by the time he was ready the job wasn't available... So you see Tam...we all have stresses and problems...but we can't just lay down and take it...we can't just fall apart and make the world stop for us...we have to take action for ourselves...no one else can do anything for us...sure we can be there for you...we can encourage you...but we can't hold your hand and walk you through this tunnel...it sucks...we all agree with that...some of us have more turmoil then others...I think you need to look at your case compared to some others...you have a lot more going for you yet you act as the the world is coming to an end...I will outline it again for you
Your H is still willing to work with you
He hasn't filed for a S or D
He isn't parading the OW around to everyone
You have a lot of opportunity to show H how well you can do on your own
You don't have children (they are a blessing and reason to keep living at times but it does add stress to the whole situation)
As much as you say your H is treating you so horribly, ripping your heart out you have to admit that he isn't bringing the OW around, he isn't treating you with disdane, he isn't belittling you, he isn't saying your a bad person, he isn't expressing his anger to you....
Remember some of us have had the OW rubbed in our faces, have been reminded repeatedly that we are not loved...verbally reminded, many of us have been called names, been told the OW is the greatest thing since sliced bread, been told we are worthless, unloveable, unwanted, a weight around their neck, and a host of other belittling, demoralizing, and undignifying remarks...
I listened in on a phone call that was arranged by my H to his OW when he was supposed to be ending it with her...I had to listen to him call her "baby"...and her call him "baby" and other sweet names...I had to hear him tell her how much he loved her and had thought about her, how much she loved him and how she really wanted a life with him, how she would be "okay, so he could do what he needed to do"...I listened to all of this and yet he told me upfront that he didn't love me, hadn't loved me for years, and how perfect she was for him...basically he was "giving me a pity chance"...and she knew it...this call was supposed to be him telling her that he was coming back to me...
So I know you hurt, Tam...but really and honestly it could be soo much worse...and I think you need to read around these boards...check out some books...and really start being thankful for the blessings you do have in your life!!!
Tomorrow is a new day...embrace it as one...and live it like it is meant to be lived...make your list...follow it...and focus on all you have...
I will tell you a huge eye opener for me was when I started working with disabled students...going to their homes each mornign to get them for school...seeing their parents come out with a smile, kiss their child good bye, wishing them a good day at school...these were children who were totally physically unable to do anything for themselves, had severe health problems, were still in diapers even though they were in their late teens...some had to be fed through a feeding tube, some were on oxygen, some had heart problems...some could die at anytime...yet these parents came out everyday, happy for the day of life that they had with their child...I then realized that as bad as thing in my life were I was much better off then these parents...yet they were so much happier...I then realized that they were happy because they had accepted their situation and lived each day as it came...no pity...if they could do it...so could I...and SO CAN YOU!!!
Okay...I need to get to bed now...I will think positive thoughts for you...and I want you to post the things that are right in your life...I want YOU TO TELL ME how much you have going for you...all the things that are positives in your life...we are going to shift your gears with or without a clutch!!!
