Stop this right now...get a grip. You feel weird because you have been on this dependency trip for a long time...it is the only comfort you know...so when you try to let go, which is what you must do - it feels like you are going to die.
When you see your therapist again - stop talking about your marriage...talk to her about how to cope and control your emotions...Jody will help you with DB. You are a mess, my friend. You need to stop focusing on H...we keep telling you this, over and over.
