The view is great!

[peaceful_spirit]

Contact is contact. He could have emailed or TMd you. He picked up the phone. He wanted to hear your voice. Hang on to that.

[Holly06]

Peaceful Sweetie!!

Yup. I do.

My FIL possible cancer is the same cancer my dad has. It has not changed my fathers life in about 18+ years.
It is there, but may not impact his life for another 5 years yet.

So I called SIL may I call her June? She had lots to say.
1. I told her about my Dad's advice. She will follow through with this.
2. we spoke about tj and here are her impressions.
- OW came with him for his Dad's surgery.
- they invited themselves again last Sunday. They now bring OW daughter with them.
- TJ broke down about his Dad to June when he had to call her and tell her the update on the surgery as June had gone to nursing home to visit Mom. He could not talk.
- TJ is in denial about the serious nature of Dad's condition.
- TJ is not himself
- TJ does not give complete honesty to OW
- TJ wants OW at his beck and call.
- his Dad's condition will be very hard for TJ. He may not be able to handle it. He may crash. Her viewpoint, not mine.
- TJ is very good at keeping his life compartmentalized. He is not truthful to anyone, and no one sees the whole picture of his life.
- TJ is really showing signs of wear and tear with all the work he is doing to keep his life going as it is.
- OW is going stir crazy, and needed to get a part time job. TJ is not happy about this.
- OW volunteered to come and help care for Mom or Dad. TJ said, no it is all taken care of, and she came back with, TJ, if I want to come down, I will come down!
- June does not think OW knows TJ is still married. I think June is naive. Why else would she be so bold and forward?
- OW was not comfortable when Dad brought up our first daughter. TJ was, but OW was clearly uncomfortable.
-OW has had 2 failed marriages.
- OW has poor morals.
- this relationship will not last.
- TJ's brother was given OW phone number. As TJ was not answering phone again, Brother was sorry he had thrown it away, as he was sure R will not last.
-TJ has a home phone number, and he has not told me.

What bothers me the most is that TJ is really addicted to his drug.
OR, he could be passively aggressively taking the opposite of what OW wants. She won't work, he wants her to. THis is totally in TJ character and behavior patterns.

This replay still had a long way to go.
My C Steve may have a chance to come to a workshop where Michelle Wiener Davis is speaking. He is thrilled.
Steve says that none of this information is good news for OW.
He thinks it is beginning to fray, just not into strings yet. It is on the way.

I think that replay has a long way to go yet.
He really needs his drug. For now.
Then why am I getting all these signs?


I guess this is the MLC we all know and hate.
Holly

[25yearsmlc]

Holly,

Just read, somewhere, that the death of a father impacts men more than any other event (outside of spouse/kid death) and can be a "trigger" for major life changes. H's bf had a dad who took his own life. BF became, I swear, an even better dad/husband than he was before. BF was/is a Great model as a father and husband even though he had NO model. Cycles can be broken.
j-

[Holly06]

I TMed TJ. Couldn't help myself. It was a business bit about getting a fax to the tax guy. I added a Happy Easter because I did not want to wait for a TM all day on Easter. I got one back, and he added that the taxes were done, and he wondered if I could sign in the next couple of days, and I said no, will be out of town till 4/15.
I guess that shut him up.

Now I can go on vacation and not look for emails, texts or phone calls.
That will be a good thing for me.
I just wanted too much too soon.
So that will help me slow down.
I hope I did the right thing.
I was only truthful and not too much information.
I wish I was looking forward to my vacation a bit more.
Sigh.

[Holly06]

Thanks 25. Yes, I read that too. There was something about 15 biggest fears of a man, and somewhere up at the top was their father's death.
I really do not want his father's death. I would gladly give up TJ for good if his Dad could have a good end of his life.
But I guess I am glad God does not ask up for these preferences.
But his Dad does not deserve this.
Speedos was another one.
Guess all those years watching swimming was really scary for H.
Maybe that is why he left me. (J/K)