NEW THREAD FOR 2940 --- HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Holly06]

Awww sweetie.
It is always like that. There is just not other way but to go through it.
It is the worst pain you will ever know. Been there.
The way through it is to work on your patience and let him go.
That is the only way back to you, and that is for him to go very far away first. Farther than he is now.
He can not turn around until he has gone through lots of stuff.
The way it works is your pain is all up front. Now. It stays this way for awhile.
It really sucks, I know.
He is in alot of pain too. Just not as bad as yours.
But his is coming. He is running and hiding from it, but it will catch up with him.
So my advice to you is stay away from contacting him. He needs to drift farther and farther away. That is the process, the journey that he has to take.
Let him go.


There is an old saying I learned when I was 14. Very popular in the 70's. I am sure you have heard it.
If you love something, let it go.
If it comes back, it's yours.
If it doesn't, it never really was.

So cry. Scream. Find a therapist and some meds.
Find a friend who can give you the support you need. You will wear out alot of friends, that's OK.
They will not understand. They will want you to dump H. and move on.
We are here.
We can guide you, because we have been there and are still experiencing this.

So stay away from the phone if you are going to call H. Do not text, do not email.
Deal with the pain in anyway without contacting him, or you will delay his trip.
You see, he does still love you. It is just to painful to be such a failure in your eyes. He has to run. His pain is intense too.
One thing that I did.
I wanted to run from my pain too. I would do anything (legal) to get rid of the pain. But we are mature and sane. We will deal with it now. Just remember that you would do anything to get rid of the pain.
That is what H is doing. He is running, self medicating, changing, trying to fight the calendar, everything and anything. Drinking and other less than desirable things.
He will find something to escape. He will. Accept that, but he will be accountable for it later in his life.
Just use your pain now to understand that he will go to lenghts to feel better.
Hope this helps.
Holly