First, the forum and books talked about on the forum are about changes within the M so both people do things for the OP that increases the OP and your happiness. Who said your mate can't change. I think it is extremely selfish for a mate to not see and accommodate to a degree, the higher sex drive mate's desires.
I would prefer to stay in a sexless R with someone I consider my best friend than to go off to find the great sex only to have a lousy mate in all other aspects of life.
So are all potential partners not of high enough quality to be a compatible partner.
In my case, I think most women would want someone a little different than myself, not because I am sub-standard but I might not have a lot in common with them.
Same goes for me, many potential women my age wouldn't be compatible with my wants. They are still good people.
Here is how I look at things with a 5% compatibility model.
If there are 1,000 women my age in my area, that makes 20 compatible partners. Some will be M, some not interested in a R.
Yes you could connect with lousy mate. That is one of the main reason for trying to change your current R. but if you are reasonably happy with things as they are, I see your point, better safe than sorry.
Me, not being able to sleep till 3Am isn't much of a life some days. Other days, it isn't problem so large I want to dump 40 years and a sundry of related connections and family relationships and say I quit.
If you would have shown up a week ago Tuesday at 1:30 PM I might had coffee with you. I know my w wouldn’t like it. I don’t think you would have come to my door. Just saying some days it is tough.
