BND, I agree with you. Through this I have discovered that I can write down many things that I would have trouble saying. I actually have a word document on my computer that I write things down fro W frequently in. If find writing them down there keeps me from actually sending them to her. Which I know I shouldn't right now. I think when the time comes, I will probably start writing my W love letters. I've learned that it si a great way to express yourself.
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford
Never looked at it that way. I always felt it was more heartfelt if it was spoken, but even my C has said love is not always expressed verbally, it is shown through our actions. I guess as everyone we just want to hear our S profess their love for us verbally.
Had a nice day yesterday with exW and D10. Had to D to the Childrens hospital for an evaluation for her high cholestorol. The doctor wasn't too concerned but did want her diet to change and for her to be more active. Went to lunch afterwords and the exW asks me for some boxes as she wants to pack up some of D old toys and donate them to the homeless shelter. Now she has a tiny car, she couldn't fit more than two of these boxes in it, so I asked her how she was going to get them there. She says well I was going to invite you along....but not just to use your truck because I thought you would like to come.
I mentioned on Monday how I wanted her to see if her parents could watch my D for a little bit Friday nite so we could go out, she said she would look into it. Now I haven't asked her if she handled it, but my D says today that she is going over nanny's to decorate eggs tommorrow. I asked her when did mommy tell you, she said yesterday. Now I'm like, why would my exW not tell me her parents are going to watch her yesterday and we definetly going out. So I call her and act like I am assuming we are on for Friday...I was going to cook dinner for us so I asked her what she felt like eating. She says my Mom can watch D for a little bit around 4pm to maybe 8-8:30pm. Maybe we can go see an early movie as I haven't been to one in awhile and then we can grab a bite to eat. I said thats fine. I couldn't help but feel like she doesn't want to be sitting out my house with just the two of us. Maybe I am reading too much into it, at least she didn't cancel.
Doing good today, my D10 is on spring break so I have her until next Tues. Anybody that wants to get a D and be a single parent has got have a screw loose or be a MLCer, she driving me up a wall and it only been one day My D is with me for half the day on Easter then she goes to her moms, so I will probably hang out at brothers for a little on Easter but I am really just looking forward to doing nothing
I had my date with exW Friday nite and it was a good time. She called me at 4:25pm and asked if I could meet her at the movie theater as the movie she wanted to see starts at 4:40. No problem, I can be there by then. I meet up and she wanted to see The Reaping, not my kind of movie but she didn't ask my opionion and it didn't really matter. It is a scary/suspense movie and was actually good. We held hands the entire time which was nice. Afterwards we grabbed a bite to eat and had a pleasant time, I asked if she was still up for going to NYC on Weds with D10, she said of course as long as the weather look ok. She made mention she wanted to see the King Tut exhibit in Phila, so that is a fall back plan in case it is icky Weds. I sent her a text later that nite telling her I had a nice time and she looked stunning as usual, she replied back thank you, i had a good time to and your eyes look amazing. I am finding she is getting more comfortable complimenting me if I give her one first.
Which brings me to my C I had Friday afternoon.
This is the first time I have been back since my exW went 2 weeks ago with me and the first time I mentioned to C that she may have gone through MLC. I am still stuck on the no pressure, should I pursue or not way of dating.
He read back some comments I had made that she had said over the past few weeks.
"no that doesn't bother me" "I like all the flowers and attention" "I will tell you if it bothers me"
My C said are you listening to her words or are you just hearing them.
What do you mean? She is telling you IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME, I LIKE THE ATTENTION. Why would you stop? She said she will TELL YOU WHEN IT BOTHERS ME. I want you to be the leader, romance her all you want. If she says it bothers her, validate her and back it down a notch.
I then asked why does she say she feels guility she can't reciprocate the attention I am giving her? Isn't that pressure?
He replies NO! That is good guilt, she can have all the good guilt you want to dish out. She is leading this parade and telling you want she wants. I was confused about giving her an Easter card, he asked me want do I want to do. I said give her one..C replied then do IT! Again he keep beating into my head ..listen to her.....if she doesn't want the card she will tell you!
So I did give her a card Fri nite and she loved it, again she apologized for not getting me one. I just said I wasn't expecting any and I did this because I wanted to.
What I came out of that C session with was how I have in mind things should happen my way...when in reality in need to except her way of showing affection and attention.
He told me to keep in mind she in mentally unstable from the MLC and she is dealing with the past hurt I caused her. Keep that in mind and you are doing just fine. Do not bring up OR anymore and stop asking her if you are bothering or pressuring her.
His best comment was..."just enjoy the time you spend with her" Amen to that.
