Wow more than I care to ever know about sperm Me too. Just having fun and making the encounter somewhat enjoyable for my W, BB is all I can do.
I don't know about some of the things I post links to, but I have hears Helen Fisher On TV. If some of the killer sperm were not on her program, I would not have posted. Most of the last link wasn't helen fisher's work, but some of hers was included.
Cemar has an almost one theme topic when he posts, its the W lack of desire that causes almost all of his dissatisfaction with his sexual life.
Partially true, but there is more to his story that doesn't get posted and more he could do to change things at least a little.
I just had a comical thought. Maybe those killer sperm are playing a game of paint-ball.:)
Well, then if Cemar can blame his dissatisfction with his sexual life on his W, can I blame my H? I think its only fair no?
What a bunch of hogwash - my H has had a "lack of desire" forever and I never had any problems before him so I know its not me (not like I have a long history or anything so don't make me out to be some expert in the field)
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
my H has had a "lack of desire" forever and I never had any problems before him so I know its not me Cemar isn't only blaming his lack of desire on his W, but wants his W to lust/desire/have hotter sex with him.
He said he wants his W to swollow, want his body, wants his W to be open to more variety, other wise sex for him in not enjoyable.
Lots of people try to help him but he has this one track he keeps talking about.
Well, then if Cemar can blame his dissatisfction with his sexual life on his W, can I blame my H? I think its only fair no? Well partly yes. Your H does play a part of the quality and frequency of your sexual activities. A person can MB all they want but to me I want exclusive partnered sex where my partner enjoys sex too.
Well maybe if he wants her to lust etc etc he should put himself in her shoes and see why it is that she doesn't
Maybe, like my H and COG's W and so many others on here, they just don't want it, plain and simple.
And personally, I don't care how much I loved my H, there are some things I just wouldn't do. It's a personal choice and I don't think Cemar or anyone else should force someone to do something they are not comfortable with
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
Heywyre. It is the old problem the SO can't or doesn't know how to turn on their SD and the poster here like Cemar and others (me included) don't have the ability to turn off the sex drive we have. Maybe you can.
I know I avoid many situations where I know I will want to be more sexual than my W is willing to be. I laid in bed many nights wanting to make out, have sex but she wasn't willing so I got up and stayed up till 3AM doing something else less satisfying.
So who's comfort level was disrupter the most? Mine or my W's?
Turn it off? Not entirely but we can do other things, like you said, to get our minds off of it, if only for a while.
I think I have come to the fork in the road, something like COG, where I have looked at all the other options and, quite frankly, I would prefer to stay in a sexless R with someone I consider my best friend than to go off to find the great sex only to have a lousy mate in all other aspects of life.
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
First, the forum and books talked about on the forum are about changes within the M so both people do things for the OP that increases the OP and your happiness. Who said your mate can't change. I think it is extremely selfish for a mate to not see and accommodate to a degree, the higher sex drive mate's desires.
I would prefer to stay in a sexless R with someone I consider my best friend than to go off to find the great sex only to have a lousy mate in all other aspects of life.
So are all potential partners not of high enough quality to be a compatible partner.
In my case, I think most women would want someone a little different than myself, not because I am sub-standard but I might not have a lot in common with them.
Same goes for me, many potential women my age wouldn't be compatible with my wants. They are still good people.
Here is how I look at things with a 5% compatibility model.
If there are 1,000 women my age in my area, that makes 20 compatible partners. Some will be M, some not interested in a R.
Yes you could connect with lousy mate. That is one of the main reason for trying to change your current R. but if you are reasonably happy with things as they are, I see your point, better safe than sorry.
Me, not being able to sleep till 3Am isn't much of a life some days. Other days, it isn't problem so large I want to dump 40 years and a sundry of related connections and family relationships and say I quit.
If you would have shown up a week ago Tuesday at 1:30 PM I might had coffee with you. I know my w wouldn’t like it. I don’t think you would have come to my door. Just saying some days it is tough.
I think I seen one of them thar killer sperm one time when I was snipe huntin. Big ugly looking sucker. I shot him in the arse but never did find a body. Left a trail of destruction behind him and I ain't seen him again since. I always keep my gun loaded though just in case I see one.
One of the things that keeps me sane are the vows I made my W 18 years ago. If I'd been smarter, and had a better lawyer, I would have added a caviot that my W would have sex with me, in good times and in bad, no matter if she felt like it or not. But I was lustfully blind and now I have no legal recourse to force her to have sex with me.
So we can either accept reality, change reality, or both a and b. I accept my current sitch, AND, I'll NEVER give up the pursuit. Sometimes pursuit will mean not pursuing, sometimes it'll mean push till it hurts. One thing is for sure, I'll be proud of my actions because I'm doing the right thing. What anyone else does is between them and God.
Menopaus....it's all BS anyway. Tell thousands of women menopause is BS. I live with a woman that becomes too warm in a cold room, has flush/moist skin at times when there is no goood reason. I could name a few other things but you can read about the symptoms if you want to look for them on the medical sites.
I've been catching up on your posts, but I am not through yet.
Are you two back to living together?
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
