I really wasn't requiring an answer for my benefit but just wanted to make sure you saw some opinions, and my opinion that most men want more than just sex. Like I said before, my questions and suggestions are based on my/w's history, which included my W's opinion men just want the mechanical sex part. I didn't know what beliefs you had about men and sex or more specifically what you thought your H appreciated.
And, yes, he is the type that wants/likes for me to be enjoying it too. Good. I think some women miss this point, especially when they are in shut-down mode.
"O" since the bomb Can you explain to your H why it didn't happen before the bomb, but only if you think it will help him see what is different now is more than just hanging on to him so he doesn't leave.
I have my own situation that if my W, BB and I were younger, and a low frequency of sexual encounters was the norm, and I dropped the bomb and sexual frequency increased dramatically, as did "O'ing" I would wonder why.
Even at our ages, when she doesn't seem connected to me and I with draw, then she is willing to do some of the things I want, I am mystified sometimes.
I see where it takes talk of leaving to get past some barriers. Maybe it is an almost universal trait people have in them, the salvage phase.
Maybe this phrase sums it up: I don't want you or the relationship the way you/it is/are but don't leave me. I will do enough to keep you around.
