Up and down....H does want to come back and actually said to me "I hope you can be patient with me while I sort this mess out". Words I never thought I would hear - now that I hear them I want more!! I do feel that things are improving in a big way but I don't get why he just can't up and leave OW. Weird.
Wish I was back in Blighty sometimes...would cope so much better with a regular night on the Toon The good thing about being so far away though is that my family are spared the details and my up-and-downs and since I chose not to talk to them (to protect H really incase he did decide to come back) I am hoping that things will be easier with everyone IF/WHEN he comes back to earth. Strange how so many of my friends don't even know he has left!!! See, Northerners are tough!
Oh...and I decided that I had to make some boundaries too....so I did say in a very nice and calm way that it was his choice not to spend Sat with his son but if he chose to go back to OW on his night off work then his words re coming home are not matching his behavior and I am left thinking that he is using our home as a hotel. I actually said that I would need to re-evaluate where I'm at in terms of thinking it's OK for him to sleep his night shifts off here (when really I wanted to say "if you don't stay on Sat night then you can forget staying ever again"). But, I think I said it in a nice, detached and loving way and it made him think. He commented later that "if I do stay Sat then don't get mad when I go back to OW on Sunday"....of course I wanted to slap him but I suppose the baby step is to have him stay over on Sat first.....
Also, the whole detached and loving/best friend stuff...well it does work because H said yesterday that my behaviour has surprised him......so, MillyMoose, keep going because my H has been gone over 6 months and he's only just starting to see the light (I think)
These boards are what keeps me going.....
Me 36 ring on H 41 ring off S2 Together since 1992 Married: 2000 Bomb Aug 06 H moved out Oct 06 (and straight in with OW)
The good thing about being so far away though is that my family are spared the details and my up-and-downs and since I chose not to talk to them (to protect H really incase he did decide to come back) I am hoping that things will be easier with everyone IF/WHEN he comes back to earth. Strange how so many of my friends don't even know he has left!!! See, Northerners are tough!