yeah i know things doesn't get much easier. we had a heated argument this morning. he kept asking questions about the A and doesn't believe what i tell him. i also asked permission to process my clearance in school but he wouldn't let me go. the argument brought out the worst of him and he hit in the face. i was so scared, my body trembled with fear. i went to another room and cried my heart out. What more can i do? i just have to take all that he throws at me?.... ..... i know i wouldn't be forgiven for what i've done.
So sorry sweetie. Men find it hard to forgive unfortunately....or take longer to forgive. I've been at it for 9 months now and I didn't even cheat on him.
I'm so sorry... Are you feeling threatened? Is there anywhere you could go until he cools down? Please give us some details so we can help.
rainbowlove ---------------------- ALL IS HERE AND SO MUCH MORE IS COMING!
I popped in over here, since I was checking to see what my friend RBL was up to.
I'm quoting her here:
Yes r, can you confirm if he hit you???
RBL, maybe I'm mistaken, but I didn't see a lot of room for ambiguity in her post.
So, let me get all high and mighty for a minute here.
If he hit you, and I'm going out on a limb to say he did...
This is completely unacceptable behavior. I don't know the whole story here, I gather you had an A. But, it doesn't matter what you did. A man doesn't hit a woman. Period. (shouldn't hit anybody else either, for that matter).
Get away from him, and stay away. I gather by briefly checking some of your other posts, that he's got a bit of a temper?
Men find it hard to forgive unfortunately....or take longer to forgive.
Well, and he's not going down the path of forgiving if he's going to use her as a bloody punching bag.
RBL, I'll never forget the photo I saw of Emily (Emily21, I think?). Her H (bf, I've forgotten the exact details) left her, got OW pregnant, they got in a fight and he gave her a black eye. She posted a photo of herself here. It was just excruciating to look at.
Within, oh, let's say, a month, she was back together with him.
That was just as excruciating. I wonder how long it was before he did it again...
r, no matter what, you don't deserve to be the focal point for any physical violence from him. Don't forget that.
If I've jumped the gun here, my apologies, but I have a hard time believing that I did. And I have a real hard time putting up with men who hit their wives, gfs.....
And to quote you:
i just have to take all that he throws at me?....
Do you? I don't think so. Especially not if he's going to be physically abusive.
Take care, update us soon. I hope I'm wrong here.
S_O_T_S aka: Stoic_On_The_Surface
I can't quite get there cause my heart's forsaken me - KT Tunstall
Stoic, thanks for jumping in here. No need to apologize. Honestly, I'm at a loss when it comes to violence. R, should in all likelyhood have a separation from him if she's feeling threatened. This is an unacceptable situation.
I've also alerted SG of the situation with R and hopefully, she'll jump in here soon too.
R, please, tell us what is going on.
The other issue Stoic is that if I understand correctly, R is not in the U.S. right now. So that makes the domestic violence thing different. If she's in a third world country, I don't know what resources are available to her. Can her family help? Is there another man in the family who can intervene?
Yes, this is serious R. Hitting is NOT OK, no matter WHAT you did!
Please post soon....
rainbowlove --------------------- ALL IS HERE AND SO MUCH MORE IS COMING!
R is not in the U.S. right now. So that makes the domestic violence thing different. If she's in a third world country, I don't know what resources are available to her.
Gathered she wasn't here, but certainly wasn't clear to me where she was.
Yes, this is serious R. Hitting is NOT OK, no matter WHAT you did!
Well, I can't pretend to be terribly worldly, but I hope there is no culture on this earth that believes that the statement RBL wrote is untrue.
Please post soon....
I again agree w/ RBL.
Take care, r, hope you're OK.
S_O_T_S aka: Stoic_On_The_Surface
I can't quite get there cause my heart's forsaken me - KT Tunstall
Yes, this is serious R. Hitting is NOT OK, no matter WHAT you did!
Well, I can't pretend to be terribly worldly, but I hope there is no culture on this earth that believes that the statement RBL wrote is untrue.
Ok, in NO CULTURE in the world should domestic violence be tolerated! It is one of those universal truths similar to child-abuse being wrong and murder being wrong among other things.
So WHAT does a woman do in r's case. My friend recently had a DV incident in THIS country and the H was arrested and now they have no contact until the court date. In the meantime, she's changed the locks and Sfa has set her up with a marital counselor.
In r's case, do they have marital counseling in the country she lives in. Can the law enforcement intervene? I know in my home country, the law is pretty solid against DV, but the cops are corrupt and I wouldn't trust them to do the right thing in a domestic situation. Also, there's a stigma to involving a law enforcement agency in a situation such as this.
The other questions are: Is is common behavior for R's H? She certainly hasn't posted anything like this before. The A bit has her H REALLY angry, I can relate to his anger, but NOT HIS VIOLENCE. It seems like he just erupted suddenly this morning.
What is her recourse here? Is she threatened that he will hit her again? If so, how to prevent this? Does she leave with the kids? Does she ask him to leave?
It's a delicate issue... Also, from her last few posts it seems like she has HIS family around and that they are not her biggest fans right now. So where and how will she get support?
Only she can answer these questions....
Physical violence is wrong. That said, it does fall in 2 categories: My friend in the U.S. felt threatened as if H would strangle her to death. That's slightly different from being struck once. Should that be tolerated? No! Because if he gets away with the hitting once, he'll do it again. That's what happened with my friend here.
R's H might have just lost it once and she might not feel like her life is threatened. That said, R's H needs help. Just like SteelersFan. Her H pushed her once too, but she doesn't feel threatened by him that he'd kill her or something. So they have contact and he's done his time in jail for the same and is getting counseling.
R, please post sweetie. Unless you tell us more, we can't help too much. Protect yourself and your children. You're a good person and you don't deserve to be hit even if you cheated.
((((((hugs)))))))
rainbowlove ------------------------ ALL IS HERE AND SO MUCH MORE IS COMING!
....H hit me in the face with a hard plastic container thing we used to scoop water with....a dipper...don't know if have that in the states. he hit me with it after he threw some water at me. i was afraid at that time, i could feel my whole body tremble.
....i'm avoiding him now and i sleep in the Ds room.
I am not sure of other countries laws...as I do know that some areas of the world look down upon women and view them as property of men...but I would think most places would not tolerate domestic abuse...especially with children in the house...
You really do need to get away from this situation...what you did was wrong but nothing you did deserves physical abuse...plain and simple!
....H hit me in the face with a hard plastic container thing we used to scoop water with....a dipper...don't know if have that in the states. he hit me with it after he threw some water at me. i was afraid at that time, i could feel my whole body tremble.
....i'm avoiding him now and i sleep in the Ds room.
--r--
R, tell us more. Did he bruise you? It's disturbing that he used an object to hit you with.
Is there someone who could talk to him about his behavior? This physical abuse is unacceptable. Has he done this before? Is there any family member who can intervene here?
((((((hugs)))))))
Please take care of yourself. Thinking of you and worried about your safety sweetie.
rainbowlove ----------------------- ALL IS HERE AND SO MUCH MORE IS COMING!
