Right now I am having a bad moment, had a bad day! I just got done crying my eyes out.
I am leaving for vacation in the morning , just got home from picking up last minute things for the trip. I went down memory lane as I was shopping. Thinking about H and all of "our family vacations" that we have gone on together. The last time I packed for vacation it was with my H. I am missing him so much tonight! I just want my family back again and my H's arms around me again, but I know that this isn't going to happen now , if ever. I have no choice but to accept what life has dealt me. I hate this!
I used to look forward to our vacations, but tonight I feel like I would rather just stay home. Of course, I haven't let on to the girls b/c I don't want to spoil their vacation. I am acting like I am looking forward to it. Somehow I felt "safe" and "happy" when I had my entire family with me. Things are so different now and I feel lost. I really do...
I think I am going to go cry some more before the girls get home. I don't want them to see me upset. I just want to call H and tell him how much I miss him, but I know I can't
