ERC, I can sympathiize with your situation, it is so similar to mine. I too have gone through the spying thing and then not wanting to know at all. But in my case it was the H of the OW that was trying to keep me informed. He would call me late at night, and then I couldn't sleep afterwards. I knew it was going on and did not want to know everytime they were together, it was just too painful. The OW is my H's secretary so again here is another similar situation. Listen to Theoden he is very wise. Everyone on here and everything I have read has said not to try to tear them apart, all it does is push them together. I'm hoping that my H will wake up on his own. The advice I have been given is detach and GAL. Easier said than done I know, but I'm staying busy with my friends and my daughters. I'm trying to give him his space, I'm not always successful, but I think I'm getting better. I have read that our spouses feel caged in, and we need to open the gate. Once we do that they sometimes decide we are not as needy as they thought we were!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
