Well, I haven't heard much from STBXH in the past few days. I sent him a tm yesterday asking if he could please return the electric drill so that I could do some work around the house. I simply said "Can you return the drill or should I go out and buy a new one?" His response "Yes, I will bring it back and I am sorry for yesterday. I didn't mean to upset you and make you mad." This was brought about because Monday night he couldn't take a few minutes and discuss our future. He just HAD to get to a friends house to watch the Ohio State basketball game. Made me angry but the old me would have called him right up after he left that night and chewed him out. The new me just went inside, cried a few tears but then threw it away....I let that emotion go just as quickly as it came on me.
But anyways...haven't heard one word from him today and probably won't hear from him until he realizes that maybe he should come see his kids. I really think all of this has to do with a freedom factor. He wants to do what he wants, when he wants. Which means, if he is at home, he can't do that. There are 3 kids that rely on someone to be there for them. He is definitely not that person. And he doesn't seem to want to be that person. That is why I am going to move ahead with a D. I just need to get ahold of a lawyer and get the ball rolling.
This is a hard thing to do but I must do it so that I can move on with my life and start new.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
