Looking backward but only to look forward SIX

[RedHeadWife]

Adding a child/children to an M is very difficult. You are very lucky though that you have the knowledge from DB so that you don't allow the stress, etc. that is added when you add a child to the mix to ruin your M. I didn't read your entire thread, but I did get there was an A, but not sure the details of it and I can understand how the anger will come back toward H for that during very stressful times when you feel like you are shouldering everything. Unfortunately for me, I am now here because we ended up having 3 boys in the span of 7 yrs. We got pregnant immediately after we got married w/ our first. I didn't have the knowledge to make sure I kept my H and our M on the front burner during the raising of the boys (we're still raising - oldest is 7, youngest just turned 1), however, I believe a lot of my H's "gripes" are validated, however, I always thought I was doing what I was supposed to be doing -- raising our children, but making sure that the H is still taken care of is also part of our job as W.

Doesn't necessarily sound fair, I thought H should be taking care of me, but he thought he was doing that, but since I wasn't taking care of him, that was the downfall of our M. Vicious cycle, but like I said, at least you know what needs to be done for your H and your M and that's the first step. Doing it is not always easy and it does seem like the W has to do a lot of the "work," however, I guess we are the superglue of the entire family in a way.

Anyway, you sound like you are doing great w/ knowing what you need to do, but it's not always that easy so it's nice that you have here to vent!