need a little encouragement

[kissak]

That's ok! I understand a little. My H was in the Navy the first 2 years we were married. I understand about you being scared to bring up R talk. For me it was because I was afraid of what he might say. I think a mess up i did last week was playfully saying how come he didn't call me honey anymore. I think that made him think a little about because he didn't feel it. Anyway, tonight he is coming over for supper. I hope he doesn't feel uncomfortable, don't know for sure though, I sent him a couple of text mess today and his response was short. Don't know if he is having second thoughts about something he said or did last night. Im not really sure if I want to cook him supper tonight, but I will decide when that time comes. I will let u know what happens. I am just about to the point were I can't keep doing this. I want to tell him that "I love you, but, I can't keep letting u put me in this position of feeling vulnerable to you. Go and find what it is you are looking for. I am going on with my life and take care of our kids and when you know 100% what it is u want call me and we will talk. I just can't keep letting him hold on to me just in case. It's not good for me to be waiting in the wings while he is dating other women.I have to let go at some point, not sure if I am ready. i do want to wait until he talks to MC before I say anything like that.