My Heart's Journey into the Unknown

[COG]

Nic,

Anyway, H brought it up b/c he was worried about how my behaviour would affect the kids (f'n jerk! worry about your own behaviour!).

Well God surely was with you because most normal human beings would have slugged him upside the head at that point. You'll learn to be more careful with the kid's, he is completely clueless. And yes, I agree with your T, he is just being the model dad to impress his GF.

I will admit to being insanely jealous of ow, though not so much her and H (though that hurts), but b/c H is now finally acting like the H and father I wanted him to be.

It's great that you can admit that, but think logically about what you are jealous of. Do you really want a H like your STBXH? Do you REALLY think he's changed? Can you see how she'll be sorry for her poor judgement some day?

Now here's a biggie, huge, immense, immovable object. The love your kid's have in their hearts for YOU! There will NEVER be another woman to even come remotely close to filling YOUR shoes. Your kid's love you, and will continue loving you more than any other human being on this earth! Look through the darkness of jealousy, and see that maybe the OW might have helped your D through an uncomfortable moment by helping her with her hair. Your H is making really stupid decisions and your kid's can use all the love they can get, even if it's from OW.

The best thing you can do for them is just what you're doing. Pray/work through the pain, heal, and move on. You are a strong, faithful, and loving woman. You have grown tremendously over the past 12 months. The sun will shine on your life again, and you will dance through the flowers. You're just a little stuck in the mud right now, but you'll get through it, and thrive again.

Hang in there, I'm proud of you!

Love,

COG