Did you figure that out and make that change on your own or did a therapist help?
I asked because it looked like you had a Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) approach to the problem (along with the ADHD meds).
You had this core belief that you were worthless (from FOO in this case). Forgetting things gave you an automatic thought that "I am an idiot" which feeds core belief of worthlessness. You may have had an intermediate beliefs that "if I can remember things without being told, then I will NOT be worthless." Changing the core belief directly is almost impossible. By changing your automatic thoughts and intermediate beliefs you stop feeding the core belief of worthlessness and there by change the core belief. So you realized that it was okay for your wife to remind you of things because all that matters to her is that the action is DONE. And you start to realize that even if you forget, it does NOT MEAN you are worthless.
Make sense at all????
Makes perfect sense. Now I'm working with the intermediate belief that if I can stop blaming others for my own issues and work with them dependably, intelligently, and pleasantly enough to make it worth their while to deal with me, then I won't be worthless. Hey, it's an improvement... I said I was just getting started.
And the psychiatrist didn't tell me any of this. I did a pretty good job of hiding from him too... I basically took up every session telling him either that the meds were working well enough not to screw with them for now or that I needed something different because of this, that, or the other thing. I have a real issue with admitting that I need real "psychiatric help" with my "issues" as opposed to medicine to fix a specific condition. I just noticed what all those feelings of worthlessness were doing to me and my perceptions of everyone around me when one of those meds gave me a few days off from those feelings.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
