GD, I totally agree with you- that it is hard to see one's spouse as not deliberately hurting you when you feel hurt. That doesn't mean they are deliberately hurting you. Although there are sociopaths in the world, the vast majority of people who visit here aren't married to them. Diagnosing one's spouse is usually a fruitless endeavor because your spouse almost never agrees with your diagnosis, won't seek help and will continue arguing with you about how it's your fault. that's why I don't find labeling other people particularly helpful most of the time. There are exceptions, but not many. But I appreciate your honesty.
It's no fun being in a sex-starved marriage, no matter how you slice it. Michele
