Sandi, I can't imagine how difficult a situation you must have been in. I appreciate your incite into the mind of a narcissist. My H was diagnosed with an attachment injury related to adoption, possible sex abuse...There was excellent help offered. H elected not to get it. It seems that A.I. victims often go to any lengths to protect from beign 'found out'. They often try to make their partners out to be crazy...to protect themselves. The therapy offers healing and actually teaches them how to feel empathy. Tragic that my H won't do it. The A.I.'experts' also thought their were some narcissistic overtones. In actuality, there seems to be a lot of similarities, and of course, at one time or another we are all probably a bit o everything from martyr to narcissist!
Michele, I understand that how we respond and react creates a whole new response and reaction from our partners. And how someone 'hurt' can often 'act as if' they are punishing. And your first chapter mentions how a 'lack of empathy' can happen because of fears and rejection and a host of other factors. Sometimes it just gets very hard to believe that there isn't a deliberate cruely involved. I would rather believe my H is a victim as opposed to a cruel, arrogant user. So 'acting as if' as you did arriving home from a trip...and finding that your H was so glad to see you intead of angry as you feared...yep we can bring out the beauty or the beast. Sometimes though, it is hard to keep trying. Looking forward to reading your new book. gd
