DON'T feel bad for posting your successes! That is what DOES give us hope and encouragement. You had a great time, and it was great to see you so happy. The point is that you got there through using the DB techniques, and THAT is what we need to learn from this. It personally gives me strength and encouragement that this CAN be done - I LOVE hearing about your progress and seeing that it makes you happy!
So congratulations, and keep doing such good work and LET US KNOW about all of your wonderful progress, and know that the board is here when you have a bad day, too.
Yes, pleae do NOT feel bad - it is definitely what keeps me going. After all I have been through (and I was one of those spouses that said "you do it once and you are outta here" - ya right !!) I am still hanging in there and hoping for the sun to shine and I know it will one day
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
HB, you already know that you are helping with my situation as (hopefully) my situation will follow yours soon. I think your postings are enlightening many more people on this board with lots of them not posting.
H coming over at 5am really is GREAT!!! I think at this time it is SO difficult to find a balance between getting too clingy and yet being nice to h.
I know what you mean by h not thinking about your feelings. I feel that way also. I always ask him how's his day, etc. Never did he ask me what I did during the day. Given I am not working now I could have been anywhere, doing anything. Doesn't he care? Of course, my h is not even back yet so I guess this is to be expected. Still feel sad though.
Take care and keep this DB going. You go girl!!!
M 38, H 38, two sons Met 20 years ago Married 13 years Bomb: Oct, 2006 DB: Started in Dec, 2006 H moved out for 3 weeks in Mar, 2007 H back home and piecing?
I think that we all believe that once our H's end their A's that we will be living happily-ever-after. That's not the case yet is it? There is still so much to get through. You are giving us hope and yet there is still the reality of hurt feelings. Great to hear more of positives! YEAH!!
Well I had my C session last night - not sure if I will go alone again - she is going to call in two weeks to see how I am doing but she sees how I have progressed and she knows how much I am out here and reading the right books. She brought up another one she is reading called: How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It: Finding Love Beyond Words by Patricia Dr Love and Steven Phd Stosny (Hardcover - Jan 16, 2007)
She says sometimes we talk to much - I know I do. I find that if I let more silence happen H will continue talking and even elaborate.
So all in all a good C session. She said H needs to talk about OW to get it all out. H admitted yesterday he misses OW - the friendship but that he does not feel the love for her anymore. I finally have accepted him being gone as long as he wants - my brain kept saying this but it took my heart this long to catch up. So I am off to shop with GF tonight, H gets the kids for dinner and I will pick them up later. D12 just asked Sunday night when Daddy was coming home - I said I am not sure sweetie. They see how much time we are together and how affectionate we are so the kids make assumptions. H just needs time to get through all these feelings grief, sadness, guilt...
We both have Fri/Mon off so it should be a great weekend - wish we were going on a trip though....did not say this to him of course!!!
We will never go back to the old R - I cannot let it. In fact I am thinking of getting a "maid's outfit" from Fredericks and showing up to "clean" his apt (trench coat and all - HA)!!!
Me41 H44 * M16 yrs * D13 S10 8/06 H wants a D * 1/07 OW Truth 2/07 Searated * 7/07 H moved home First Thread Surviving Separation Now Piecing
HB - you're right. Your H does have to get through his feelings for OW. That's got to be so hard to watch and I'm sure just makes you mad sometimes! The good news is that he WILL get over it and when that happends, your M can soar!!
My H is continuing his IC and I have a lot of hope that he will get to the bottom of the "why's" of the A. It's a painfully slow process, though. So, I'm just trying to keep my sanity and my mouth shut!
PS - LOVE the maids outfit idea. What guy wouldn't drool over a W who does that???!!!!!
Mine wouldn't - he has absolutely no interest whatsoever - go figure!!
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
Mine wouldn't - he has absolutely no interest whatsoever - go figure!!
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
(trench coat and all - HA)!!!
- he has absolutely no interest whatsoever - go figure!!