need a little encouragement

[kissak]

ok, My H and me talked last night, all night actually. He said that his feelings for me were still not there. He asked the question,"When is enough, enough". He said he came back to try because he wanted to make sure he gave it that chance and also to maybe show me that there was a chance it wouldn't work. I point blank asked him " Are you saying that you are giving up on our marriage?" His answer "mmmm, NO" I told him that confused me tremendously. He still feels like why should he continue to waste his time if its not going to work. I did however, get him to agree to go see a marriage counselor. I think that is a big deal, because when we first separated, that was a BIG NO. My problem with this man is, he still would have sex with me if I wanted to. He said that he is going to start staying at his apartment but wanted to know if we could possible date and if he wanted to come over, could he? BUT, he thinks it would be OK to date other people too. ?????????? I said that would defeat the purpose of us dating. He said maybe not, It might make me realize all the good things I would miss in you. Problem, he would date woman he dated right after we separated. He had a real connection with her he says. That worries me. I really don't think I can do this. I want to try, but I don't think my heart can take it. I cannot date him if he is going to date other women and possible sleep with them. I told him this. Of course he understands where I am coming from. He did say that he saw a difference in me when we talked last night, said he noticed that I listened to him more, and tried to understand what he was saying. That was good, I guess.That is just something I have learned to do, thinking it would help. He ended up staying the night, mainly because it was so late, but I think he would have anyway. I asked if he wanted to come eat dinner with us tonight and he said yes. I asked if he wanted to stay again and he said that he actually wanted to stay in his apt. but said would it be ok if he changed his mind and wanted to come over? I said ok. I think that I might need to move back over to the separated board. I feel awful about this, not sure what moves to make now. I guess I just need to keep acting like we are working on things, just slower until we talk to marriage counselor. He is hoping that the MC can help him understand why he is feeling the way he is, about not really knowing what he wants and not knowing what makes him happy. I am glad he has decided that he wants help in knowing.