Well I called and left a vm for H. Saying I was calling to see how his day was going and that technically he should be done with work by now (what with him leaving two hours early this morning) and that I hoped he was managing to stay awake.
I just really feel for H today, I feel his pain. I know he's having a hard time, yet H would never let me or anybody in on his pain.
I've been reading the Mars/Venus book and what an eye opener. Makes me realize how much I must have hurt H in the past. I'm learning though, I'm learning how to communicate with a Martian, I'm absorbing the book.
Quote: I've been reading the Mars/Venus book and what an eye opener. Makes me realize how much I must have hurt H in the past. I'm learning though, I'm learning how to communicate with a Martian, I'm absorbing the book.
This book really made a difference in how I viewed H. I do not condone his behavior but I can SEE how I contributed to the bomb. I can SEE how I hurt him in many different ways over the years.
Quote: I just really feel for H today, I feel his pain. I know he's having a hard time, yet H would never let me or anybody in on his pain.
Unfortunately there isn't much we can do to alleviate their pain. Just continue to be his friend.
Just between you and me I was downright awful at times. I knew I was being awful yet I couldn't stop myself yaknowwhatImean? I would hate myself afterwards, yet I couldn't be nice, it was too hard.
When I look back at those times, some were pre-H even, I wasn't happy at all thus the reason I acted like that, if I wasn't happy then I didn't want anybody else to be happy either...how selfish was that?! Except I was happy when everyone else was miserable...oh my goodness I was an unhappy person AND not very pleasant to be around either!
Maybe this is why it makes it a little easier to forgive H for his bitterness/ugliness/moods. H isn't happy and when you're not happy other people's happiness can make things feel even worse, IMHO..if any of this makes sense.
H called me on my way home from work last night. Says "hey" this is his new way of greeting me. Asked me if I was meeting friend for dinner. I said no, I have too much to do to get ready to go up north this weekend. Need to go grocery shopping and get things packed. H said well we can eat out, after telling me earlier in the week he didn't want to eat out. I told him I was getting hamburger and cold meats, breakfast stuff and we can eat at the cabin and fish a lot.
SS20's mom owns the cabin and this is where we're going for the weekend.
H went fishing last night, came home at dark, said he was going straight to bed, he was beat. His mood has has been very somber the last few days. I feel like I haven't seen/talked to him a whole the last couple of days either.
I am very excited about getting away for the weekend. When I'm home on the weekends, I feel like I have to be working around the house and I do.
Hmm...going to the cabin for the weekend??? Make it memorable my dear. Hope you have a good time. Don't worry about OW...she is just a pimple on your H's head. She is bound to burst sooner or later ok. Your H is home and a lot more patience is required of you. I see alot of positives coming out of your H. Just validate and reinforce the good things that he does. when doubts starts to creep in my brain, my thoughts always go back to the Conway book that says, if a wife can roll with the punches, then the M will have a greater chance of survival. It really takes a lot of patience from the wife to survive the H's MLC. So, go put on a happy face and enjoy the weekend...kapish!!!
I can totally relate to being miserable. My family and his family gets mad at me sometimes when I say, I undestand why H is having a hard time coming home. Why would he want to take a chance on coming home to the same B*&^&?!
They all say but you have come such a long way and how committed you are to your M. Then was then and now is now. You have always been wonderful with some flaws just like H. He is not perfect.
I say to myself but you didn't have to live with me!!!!!! I was a B*(&* on wheels.
Well there is a new feel in the air that is for sure, things are slowly turning around. Things are changing for the better, but then the good Lord above has been in charge the whole time and has kept me posted as to how/when things would be changing and has kept his word.
Quote: Just between you and me I was downright awful at times. I knew I was being awful yet I couldn't stop myself yaknowwhatImean?
Oh, I know exactly what you mean. I think I had Queen Bee Syndrome.
I was awful to my brothers, my dad AND my H. All of them kept coming back for more....until H left.
Thank goodness for DB and this BB! I no longer subject my brothers to my controlling behavior, I'm working on R with H and I know my dad (although no longer with us) understands me (and I think he always did).
Anyway, have a GREAT time this weekend!!! I am so happy you're getting the chance to get away for the weekened....and with H!
I was downright awful at times. I knew I was being awful yet I couldn't stop myself yaknowwhatImean? I would hate myself afterwards, yet I couldn't be nice, it was too hard.
I was an unhappy person 
AND not very pleasant to be around either!
