Shay's update: Trust and Faith

[nikatnight]

Shay,

It's so hard being in a R/M normally, and now with the negative baggage attatched it is soooo much harder.

One day at a time. I wish I was on the other side of what life is like 5 yrs. after the EA/PA, then I may have some wise words, but I'm not there yet.

From what I have read I think time is one of the best healers after an A.

Nik

[Shay5]

It's so hard being in a R/M normally, and now with the negative baggage attatched it is soooo much harder.

amen!! this is so true but we will live through it and be a stonger person with self growth, right?

Things are good on this front- feeling pretty normal which most of you can relate too, it is a good feeling just to be right with the world - not exciting but really good. I reached over last night and felt H in the bed which a year ago was NOT the case. This I am thankful for. H had a work function last night and didnt go out after so I would freak out he said- strange as it is this is really nice gesture . I read some more of my newest book, I will Never Leave you- highly recommend it!! Took some notes- 3 steps to forgiveness and by the way you dont forgive someone to be nice to them but to be at peace with yourself.

Step one: Think through the assault - whatever it is. Everytime you objectively think it through- you heal

Step 2: Whenever you have thoughts of revenge and reinact everything to make it just so your ego can handle it, you hurt yourself!so,,,, take a deep breath, lean over , meditate for a few secs until its a habit that brings you peace

Step 3: recognize your egos part in all this- what is it that bothers you about the infraction, what is your ego trying to say? for instance - the affair hurts my ego because it is making me less important in OR, or whatever
this I am working on...

Anyway, this reading really helps me and we even dialogued last night

so,,, tonight is my work happy hour and everyone wants me to stay out late- say a prayer I do what my better self wants to do and go home sober and early!!

D12 has a swim championship tomorrow and a hangover would be awful!! Plus I want to go for a run through beautiful Miami University in Oxford where the event is...anyone want to meet me there???? Pam??


Shay

[kml]

Hey, Shay, good to see you back
Ellie

[nitaf]

Glad to see things are going well for you Shay.

Nitaf

[Shay5]

Thanks girls!

[psluke]

Good Morning Shay,

I wondered if you still run.

I still don't, but I have to get more exercise I think I would feel better if I do.

I bet it was great to reach over and H be in bed with you!

So happy for you guys that things are going well.

[Shay5]

I just posted to you too! Hang in there girl!!

[holdingon]

Shay... thanks for your post to my thread. I had forgotten that I posted the goddess thing to you... how funny.

Ok, really important question... I have been reading your old threads... Where exactly do I put the feng shui cactus to get rid of the OP??

Thanks.

[Shay5]

ahahahahahahha- it worked for a while! and you know it died about 2 weeks ago- too much water but I am out to replace it- cant take any chances...as you walk into your main entrance it should be in the room straight ahead and possibly on the mantle- also lots of trophies and the color red in that room. Picture a grid with 3 room along the back and 3 infront- this is the middle back room on the grid- ,
you cracked me up

Shay

[nitaf]

How long were u and H actually separated?

Nitaf